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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was talking to my sister-in-law on the phone. She brought up the family reunion last weekend and how my family is so strange. I didn't know there was a reunion, I wasn't invited. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33103) - you deserved it (1609)
On 09/03/2009 at 9:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32605) - you deserved it (4072)
On 09/03/2009 at 6:19am - kids - by Annoymous (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, while lifeguarding, I received six prank phone calls on the official pool phone. When it rang again, I picked it up, told them to go fuck themselves, hung up, and then left the phone off the hook. A second later, my cellphone rang. It was my boss, telling me to get a sense of humor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30235) - you deserved it (5668)
On 09/02/2009 at 9:18pm - work - by lifeguardfuckup (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids. When we were on the Ferris wheel, I discovered my fear of heights. I hyperventilated, screamed from our seat "LET ME OUT! OH GOD LET ME OUT!!" I also began crying hysterically. They stopped the ride for me to get off. I'm a 45 year old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33657) - you deserved it (12812)
On 09/01/2009 at 2:30am - health - by pussyOUT (man) - United States
Today, while emailing my very young, attractive teacher to ask a question, my hand slipped. Too bad you can't unsend emails that say "Can we meet after school some time? I have some thongs I'd like to discuss with you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30899) - you deserved it (8068)
On 08/31/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22697) - you deserved it (43595)
On 08/30/2009 at 4:17pm - animals - by lily (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46796) - you deserved it (12027)
On 08/30/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by mel (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on eating my popcorn so I whispered in her ear "Pretty soon your going to have to repay me with kisses." Then she looked at me and walked out the theatre. She came back with a bucket of popcorn and said "Here, you're repaid." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27365) - you deserved it (30097)
On 08/30/2009 at 8:19am - love - by regected (man) - United States (California)
Today, was my third day at work. The hazing finally began. After a few rounds of "punch the new guy", I thought I would finally be safe because the manager walked into the kitchen. He saw what was going on, picked up a handful of ketchup packets, and began throwing them at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33293) - you deserved it (3372)
On 08/29/2009 at 5:02pm - work - by newguy (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was helping my mom pack for our family vacation. We were both talking about how excited we were, when she turns to me and says, "Would you be offended if I asked you not to come? It's just... I want to have fun." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45687) - you deserved it (3755)
On 08/29/2009 at 2:40pm - misc - by Nofun (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I had to give a speech on the importance of dental hygiene. I got really nervous, so I did what I've heard in movies. I pictured everyone naked, began staring at a hot blonde in the front, and got hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11183) - you deserved it (43329)
On 08/29/2009 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by SOdamnNervous (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was curious as to whether or not my mom was off of her medication. When I asked her, she pulled a knife on me. Looks like I got my answer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40096) - you deserved it (3137)
On 08/29/2009 at 12:46pm - health - by mommy_issues (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was feeling sick and I farted so loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41882) - you deserved it (5741)
On 08/28/2009 at 2:30pm - health - by minnie (woman) - United States
Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27830) - you deserved it (7567)
On 08/28/2009 at 3:51am - misc - by pistonchamp159 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40109) - you deserved it (4934)
On 08/28/2009 at 12:41am - kids - by mariokarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Monday 17 June 2013
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