Fire_lights

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Fire_lights

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10519
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Fire_lights's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 7:34pm<b>OptimusSlime</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 11:20pm<b>BicBoi996</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 5:49pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 1:46pm<b>KoGWitness</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 9:32pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 3:37am<b>22jrdn55</b> - the 10/12/2009 at 4:03pm<b>just_one_more</b> - the 08/30/2009 at 3:31pm<b>prplr</b> - the 08/24/2009 at 5:05pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 08/24/2009 at 4:16pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 08/24/2009 at 2:30pm<b>marcogiovino</b> - the 08/10/2009 at 2:24pm<b>colormefancy</b> - the 07/18/2009 at 10:53pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 1:39pm

Fire_lights's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Fire_lights's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to my sister-in-law on the phone. She brought up the family reunion last weekend and how my family is so strange. I didn't know there was a reunion, I wasn't invited. FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2009 at 9:25am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML

by Annoymous / 09/03/2009 at 6:19am / Australia (South Australia) / Kids

Today, while lifeguarding, I received six prank phone calls on the official pool phone. When it rang again, I picked it up, told them to go fuck themselves, hung up, and then left the phone off the hook. A second later, my cellphone rang. It was my boss, telling me to get a sense of humor. FML

by lifeguardfuckup / 09/02/2009 at 9:18pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids. When we were on the Ferris wheel, I discovered my fear of heights. I hyperventilated, screamed from our seat "LET ME OUT! OH GOD LET ME OUT!!" I also began crying hysterically. They stopped the ride for me to get off. I'm a 45 year old man. FML

by pussyOUT / 09/01/2009 at 2:30am / United States / Health

Today, while emailing my very young, attractive teacher to ask a question, my hand slipped. Too bad you can't unsend emails that say "Can we meet after school some time? I have some thongs I'd like to discuss with you." FML

by Anonymous / 08/31/2009 at 4:38pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML

by lily / 08/30/2009 at 4:17pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML

by mel / 08/30/2009 at 11:23am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on eating my popcorn so I whispered in her ear "Pretty soon your going to have to repay me with kisses." Then she looked at me and walked out the theatre. She came back with a bucket of popcorn and said "Here, you're repaid." FML

by regected / 08/30/2009 at 8:19am / United States (California) / Love

Today, was my third day at work. The hazing finally began. After a few rounds of "punch the new guy", I thought I would finally be safe because the manager walked into the kitchen. He saw what was going on, picked up a handful of ketchup packets, and began throwing them at me. FML

by newguy / 08/29/2009 at 5:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I was helping my mom pack for our family vacation. We were both talking about how excited we were, when she turns to me and says, "Would you be offended if I asked you not to come? It's just... I want to have fun." FML

by Nofun / 08/29/2009 at 2:40pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Holidays

Today, I had to give a speech on the importance of dental hygiene. I got really nervous, so I did what I've heard in movies. I pictured everyone naked, began staring at a hot blonde in the front, and got hard. FML

by SOdamnNervous / 08/29/2009 at 2:06pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, I was curious as to whether or not my mom was off of her medication. When I asked her, she pulled a knife on me. Looks like I got my answer. FML

by mommy_issues / 08/29/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (South Carolina) / Health

Today, I was feeling sick and I farted so loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML

by minnie / 08/28/2009 at 2:30pm / United States / Health

Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML

by pistonchamp159 / 08/28/2009 at 3:51am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML

by mariokarter / 08/28/2009 at 12:41am / United Kingdom (London) / Transportation