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Fire_lights

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Fire_lights
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6770
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Fire_lights's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to my sister-in-law on the phone. She brought up the family reunion last weekend and how my family is so strange. I didn't know there was a reunion, I wasn't invited. FML

#5017759
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33604) - you deserved it (1630)

On 09/03/2009 at 9:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML

#5016488
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36336) - you deserved it (5019)

On 09/03/2009 at 6:19am - kids - by Annoymous (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, while lifeguarding, I received six prank phone calls on the official pool phone. When it rang again, I picked it up, told them to go fuck themselves, hung up, and then left the phone off the hook. A second later, my cellphone rang. It was my boss, telling me to get a sense of humor. FML

#5007844
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35083) - you deserved it (7048)

On 09/02/2009 at 9:18pm - work - by lifeguardfuckup (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids. When we were on the Ferris wheel, I discovered my fear of heights. I hyperventilated, screamed from our seat "LET ME OUT! OH GOD LET ME OUT!!" I also began crying hysterically. They stopped the ride for me to get off. I'm a 45 year old man. FML

#4970470
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34275) - you deserved it (12949)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:30am - health - by pussyOUT (man) - United States

Today, while emailing my very young, attractive teacher to ask a question, my hand slipped. Too bad you can't unsend emails that say "Can we meet after school some time? I have some thongs I'd like to discuss with you." FML

#4956234
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31463) - you deserved it (8109)

On 08/31/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML

#4932229
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24737) - you deserved it (46473)

On 08/30/2009 at 4:17pm - animals - by lily (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML

#4927406
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49771) - you deserved it (12918)

On 08/30/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by mel (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on eating my popcorn so I whispered in her ear "Pretty soon your going to have to repay me with kisses." Then she looked at me and walked out the theatre. She came back with a bucket of popcorn and said "Here, you're repaid." FML

#4925971
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30472) - you deserved it (38182)

On 08/30/2009 at 8:19am - love - by regected (man) - United States (California)

Today, was my third day at work. The hazing finally began. After a few rounds of "punch the new guy", I thought I would finally be safe because the manager walked into the kitchen. He saw what was going on, picked up a handful of ketchup packets, and began throwing them at me. FML

#4909892
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33833) - you deserved it (3397)

On 08/29/2009 at 5:02pm - work - by newguy (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was helping my mom pack for our family vacation. We were both talking about how excited we were, when she turns to me and says, "Would you be offended if I asked you not to come? It's just... I want to have fun." FML

#4907075
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49163) - you deserved it (4620)

On 08/29/2009 at 2:40pm - misc - by Nofun (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had to give a speech on the importance of dental hygiene. I got really nervous, so I did what I've heard in movies. I pictured everyone naked, began staring at a hot blonde in the front, and got hard. FML

#4906491
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11468) - you deserved it (43823)

On 08/29/2009 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by SOdamnNervous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was curious as to whether or not my mom was off of her medication. When I asked her, she pulled a knife on me. Looks like I got my answer. FML

#4905255
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44447) - you deserved it (3906)

On 08/29/2009 at 12:46pm - health - by mommy_issues (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was feeling sick and I farted so loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML

#4883657
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42520) - you deserved it (5788)

On 08/28/2009 at 2:30pm - health - by minnie (woman) - United States

Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML

#4877720
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28298) - you deserved it (7612)

On 08/28/2009 at 3:51am - misc - by pistonchamp159 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML

#4874486
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44369) - you deserved it (6023)

On 08/28/2009 at 12:41am - kids - by mariokarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



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