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FireBitten

Offline (the 08/18/2014 at 11:17am) | Search for a member

FireBitten

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 318
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About FireBitten : Just lurking around reading submissions and comments for my own amusement. Nothing more.

FireBitten's page activity

Visits<b>Aero_x</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 11:59pm<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 9:29pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 10:21pm<b>Co1121</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 4:22am<b>Mynamewontfi</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 7:56am<b>awkwardloveannie</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 1:07am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 2:30am<b>OnlyAvailableID</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 11:21am<b>RodzillaX</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 11:52am<b>DarkpawTehWolf</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 8:50pm<b>wolfstalker213</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 5:19pm<b>warturtle</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 2:30am<b>c3lyne</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 4:50pm<b>youresoscrewed</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 1:50am<b>JoseIsAdork</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 7:18pm<b>the_untouchables</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 10:17pm<b>aLiYaaH</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 2:40pm<b>supernaturalcat</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 6:08pm

FireBitten's FML badges

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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FireBitten's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

#21238932
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46256) - you deserved it (7555)

On 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by gag reflex - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, my friend saw a stamp on my hand and asked me which club I had gone to last night. I was so desperate to seem cool that I lied, instead of admitting it was actually from a children's play group that I took my kids to. FML

#21105342
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32636) - you deserved it (8041)

On 04/05/2014 at 6:05pm - kids - by lamemom - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to get a shirt saying "I'm a girl," just so people won't think he's gay. FML

#21104753
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37189) - you deserved it (5364)

On 04/04/2014 at 9:57pm - misc - by Violet (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my phone rang just seconds after I left a conference meeting to go use the restroom. It wouldn't have been a problem, except it seems one of my friends thought it would be funny to change my ringtone to a woman having an orgasm. FML

#21104664
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36888) - you deserved it (4320)

On 04/04/2014 at 7:46pm - work - by King_of_hearts (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML

#21101391
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43305) - you deserved it (32135)

On 03/31/2014 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom told me all about how I was conceived in a Disney Land toilet. FML

#21070288
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41431) - you deserved it (3646)

On 02/24/2014 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Dudley)

Today, I burned my right boob. I got it by eating a hot pocket and accidentally spilling the extremely hot filling. I never thought I'd get laid before. This has just confirmed it. FML

Today, while at a funeral for a distant family member, I was giving my condolences to the family. When one of them asked how I was doing, I replied with, "I'm still alive!", which is one of my standard responses due to being a cashier and being asked that question a hundred times a day. FML

Today, I was going to have sex, so I went to my basement to get my builder bear that I had stuffed my condoms in. The bear was gone. My dad gave it to charity. 5ML

#21037839
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45869) - you deserved it (16672)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

#21032373
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43041) - you deserved it (6246)

On 01/19/2014 at 12:17am - kids - by MommyProblems (woman) - United States

Today, after working my shift at McDonalds, I went to clock in at my dispatch job. During a 911 call, I blurted, "Would you like to try the McRib while it's back?" FML

#21023934
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46245) - you deserved it (8706)

On 01/10/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML

#21023843
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48879) - you deserved it (7573)

On 01/10/2014 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by lukas (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, like every day since my wife was prescribed antibiotics for an infection, I had to hide one of the pills inside her food, because she'd apparently rather fall seriously ill than swallow them like an adult. FML

#21022498
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41792) - you deserved it (4130)

On 01/09/2014 at 2:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found a great recipe for dinner, and emailed it to myself with the subject "Dinner tonight". Hours later, I'd forgotten all about it, opened my emails, saw the subject line, and thought someone was asking me out to dinner. I got really excited until I saw the sender address. FML

#21019190
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45248) - you deserved it (14134)

On 01/06/2014 at 3:57pm - misc - by Mels (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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