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FireAuro

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FireAuro

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 3 January 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 207
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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FireAuro's favorite FMLs

Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML

#10707989
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17448) - you deserved it (25800)

On 05/23/2010 at 5:21am - misc - by Oops (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I bullied a kid at school, just so someone would talk to me. FML

#9154406
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14694) - you deserved it (71277)

On 03/17/2010 at 5:22am - kids - by Kid (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML

#9134827
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8915) - you deserved it (35274)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:12pm - love - by splitzville (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to the tanning bed. I laid down in the bed and turned it on and the fan started blowing. There was a terrible smell and I thought it was the person before me. Then I realized it was just the fan blowing my sweaty feet towards my face. FML

#9016591
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5015) - you deserved it (27214)

On 03/12/2010 at 2:35am - misc - by LXA429 - United States (Indiana)

Today, the instructions on my new IKEA bed made me cry. It includes a picture of a person working alone with a frown crossed out and is replaced by two smiling people working together. I have no one in my life to help me. FML

#7036461
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37139) - you deserved it (4268)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:07pm - love - by hatelife (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it's Saturday. While all my friends go out to have fun, I get my excitement thinking about how I'll be sleeping with a new pillow. FML

#6733477
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23453) - you deserved it (6093)

On 12/13/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by soy_un_perderdor (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML

#6644782
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10172) - you deserved it (35635)

On 12/07/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by CH (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87443) - you deserved it (14612)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I applied for college graduation. Turns out my advisor screwed me over and now I'm 1 credit hour short of getting my degree. Now I have to wait another semester and pay $3,500 just to take a one hour class on Bowling so that I can graduate. FML

#5598199
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37218) - you deserved it (5603)

On 10/02/2009 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57147) - you deserved it (17193)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

#3192725
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82920) - you deserved it (14164)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend called me and I told him about the AnimeCon I'm attending, and that I wanted to go as Sailor Mars, he told me he had no idea what that was. After being mad for about ten minutes, I realized that I wanted to break up with him over not knowing what Sailor Moon was. FML

#3108036
506 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10164) - you deserved it (77079)

On 06/22/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
436 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31898) - you deserved it (141114)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

#497309
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29541) - you deserved it (110435)

On 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Stacy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend bought me a Nickelback CD. FML

#259596
383 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83987) - you deserved it (26752)

On 03/10/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by deez_nutz (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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