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FireAuro

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FireAuro

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 3 January 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 222
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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FireAuro's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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FireAuro's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

#18145171
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62419) - you deserved it (4622)

On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that the new management position I'm supposed to start in two days was delayed for a month and a half. I already quit my current job and called my boss gay. FML

#17801951
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8836) - you deserved it (47814)

On 09/22/2011 at 1:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML

#17649576
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35660) - you deserved it (3383)

On 09/03/2011 at 12:48am - love - by CHStennis_4 - United States (Utah)

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

#17496000
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27714) - you deserved it (3337)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML

#17373472
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40251) - you deserved it (3238)

On 08/05/2011 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Creeped_out_n_stuck (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML

#17266152
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19761) - you deserved it (2546)

On 07/26/2011 at 10:05am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML

#16966057
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38789) - you deserved it (5566)

On 07/03/2011 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by WasteOMoney - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12625) - you deserved it (57850)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML

#16128268
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33067) - you deserved it (14664)

On 05/11/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37127) - you deserved it (31475)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my mom told me that she was selling my favorite thing in the world, my trombone. The only thing that I'm good at is the trombone. FML

#15026564
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31955) - you deserved it (4760)

On 02/18/2011 at 9:47am - misc - by ihavenothing - United States (Texas)

Today, to prevent a fistfight at work, I had to mediate a contested debate between two coworkers on what was evidently a very touchy subject: Which is better, the orange creamsicle or the ice cream sandwich? I was the only one to get in trouble for wasting company time. FML

#14917539
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23574) - you deserved it (4146)

On 02/10/2011 at 12:31am - work - by geoduck - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML

#14786538
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29537) - you deserved it (5182)

On 01/31/2011 at 10:47am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

#14398309
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24619) - you deserved it (2986)

On 12/30/2010 at 5:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

#13949092
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41084) - you deserved it (5421)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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