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FiManson

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FiManson

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  • Number of visits : 1054
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Visits<b>randome101</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 10:58am<b>DubiousDude69</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 4:36am<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 1:59pm

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FiManson's favorite FMLs

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML

#21327404
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26667) - you deserved it (15625)

On 12/30/2014 at 8:39pm - work - by smooth - United States

Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss' new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off". She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML

#21321539
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34530) - you deserved it (3740)

On 12/21/2014 at 2:08pm - work - by anonix (man) - Canada

Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML

#21303819
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32475) - you deserved it (3763)

On 11/22/2014 at 10:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML

#21297408
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44133) - you deserved it (3857)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm - work - by elsatheannoyed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31803) - you deserved it (18274)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, my brother told my 3 year old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML

#21247749
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40582) - you deserved it (3831)

On 08/29/2014 at 8:35am - kids - by Amithatevil - Japan (Kanagawa)

Today, at my father's funeral, they were playing the song from Phantom of the Opera where she sings about her lost father. Apparently the song organizer forgot to edit out the part where her romantic interest runs toward her and yells, "That... That THING is not your father!" FML

#21245330
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35738) - you deserved it (2617)

On 08/25/2014 at 7:55pm - misc - by NotThePhantom - United States (California)

Today, I learned that when someone is choking you don't do the "hymen maneuver", you do the "heimlich maneuver". I was corrected by my girlfriend's parents. FML

#21240474
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31278) - you deserved it (13778)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:29pm - misc - by FANZZY - United States (New York)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47830) - you deserved it (6809)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at my grandma's funeral. While giving the eulogy, I accidentally mixed up "You will be missed" and "You won't be forgotten" and instead said "You won't be missed." FML

#21212849
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42518) - you deserved it (6841)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:30pm - misc - by familyhatesme - United States (Washington)

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML

#21211411
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51458) - you deserved it (4215)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm - misc - by Is that..? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML

#21211381
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36302) - you deserved it (17613)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:31pm - misc - by happypineapple - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML

Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML

#21008990
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25976) - you deserved it (53503)

On 12/29/2013 at 2:01am - kids - by ConfusedDad - United States



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