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FiManson's favorite FMLs
Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML
by smooth / 12/30/2014 at 8:39pm / United States / Work
Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss' new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off". She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML
by anonix / 12/21/2014 at 2:08pm / Canada / Work
Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML
by Anonymous / 11/22/2014 at 10:34am / United States (Maine) / Kids
by elsatheannoyed / 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm / Ghana (Greater Accra) / Animals
by Amithatevil / 08/29/2014 at 8:35am / Japan (Kanagawa) / Kids
by FANZZY / 08/18/2014 at 12:29pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Ballsy427 / 07/25/2014 at 8:05am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Work
by Lisa / 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by familyhatesme / 07/18/2014 at 12:30pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Is that..? / 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm / United States (Colorado) / Work
Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML
by happypineapple / 07/16/2014 at 11:31pm / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML
by Sheh / 07/16/2014 at 11:02am / Sweden / Animals
Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML
by ConfusedDad / 12/29/2013 at 2:01am / United States / Kids
by Cian_1 / 11/25/2013 at 6:22am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Health