I hate Bill Nye with a passion.
Today, as I left class I felt a tug on my rucksack from behind. Thinking it was just someone deliberately dragging me back, I struggled to let myself free and shouted "Let go!". I looked over my shoulder just to find that one the straps was trapped in the doorhandle. Everyone was in hysterics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3516) - you totally deserved it (9563)
On 11/19/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by betamaxjim (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)
Today, I wore my cool new shirt with an oriental character on it to class. The Chinese TA burst into laughter and told me the shirt read, "I am a sad, pathetic person." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5484) - you totally deserved it (20457)
On 11/14/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Molly (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18146) - you totally deserved it (3409)
On 10/24/2009 at 6:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, the guy I'd been talking to online and liked came to my house party with a bunch of mutual friends. He spent the night sitting in the corner on the sofa talking to my cat. I woke up later to see that not only had he crashed for the night, but he'd curled up in the dog basket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17188) - you totally deserved it (5788)
On 10/09/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Greater London)
Today, my fiance was performing oral on me. I was really getting into it, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. When asked, he confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8163) - you totally deserved it (1841)
On 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I fell asleep in my last period class. When I woke up my teacher said "you missed your bus". I grabbed all my stuff and ran out the room. My class mates were standing outside the class laughing. We still had an hour left in class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4724) - you totally deserved it (33552)
On 09/09/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by Victor (man) - United States
Today, I fell asleep during naptime. I'm the teacher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10597) - you totally deserved it (21189)
On 09/03/2009 at 1:05am - work - by yogabbagabba (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38526) - you totally deserved it (8702)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25136) - you totally deserved it (2821)
On 08/24/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42439) - you totally deserved it (2955)
On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38193) - you totally deserved it (6205)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10843) - you totally deserved it (30119)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Nord-Pas-de-Calais)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (95965) - you totally deserved it (22434)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13305) - you totally deserved it (2717)
On 01/31/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by MichiganExile - United States (Michigan)
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