About Fence : I'm a kid from Maryland who's really quite boring. I draw stupid comics and play music in an indie-ternative-ska-rap-hardcore-emo-metal band that's going nowhere, and getting there noisily. And..... that's all, really. Yeah.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23755) - you deserved it (4118)
On 01/31/2011 at 10:47am - intimacy - by Username -
Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40074) - you deserved it (3032) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35211) - you deserved it (2973)
On 01/26/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by 123roomielover (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, at the end of another long workday, my husband announced that he was going to take a shower. Attempting to rekindle some much needed romance in our lives, I seductively asked him, "Want me to join you?" He replied, "Sure. But first I have to poop." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21375) - you deserved it (4761)
On 01/22/2011 at 12:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend "where art thou my love?" via SMS. She replied "Toilet." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11094) - you deserved it (19590)
On 01/21/2011 at 6:41am - love - by gummy bear -
Today, I wanted to do something special for my upcoming second anniversary with my girlfriend, so I decided to make a short animation of our lives together since we were preschoolers. In the middle of working on the storyboard, she called and broke up with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25804) - you deserved it (2111)
On 01/20/2011 at 12:18pm - love - by Anonymous - Philippines (Pampanga)
Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36556) - you deserved it (2261) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I went to get a tattoo. I decided on getting my four month daughter's name tattooed on my upper arm. I went home to show my wife. She broke down and told me that I'm most likely not the father. It's a toss-up between her co-worker, the guy who does our lawn, several strangers and me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46935) - you deserved it (3598)
On 01/16/2011 at 9:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I realized I'm pussy whipped by a chick I'm not even dating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9613) - you deserved it (31699)
On 01/12/2011 at 2:46am - intimacy - by mad dude -
Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58057) - you deserved it (2755)
On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that the girl who my high school boyfriend cheated on me with is now the woman my husband is having an affair with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52570) - you deserved it (2761)
On 01/08/2011 at 12:22am - misc - by sad (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my little girl spoke her first word. It was ''Daddy''. Daddy left before she was born and she has never met him before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35429) - you deserved it (3511)
On 12/28/2010 at 11:47am - kids - by Anonymous - Netherlands
Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23238) - you deserved it (2378)
On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Today, while driving home with my boyfriend, we started discussing how clean our driving records were. I was boasting about how I'd never been in an accident when I hit a moose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7294) - you deserved it (20903)
On 12/08/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was trying to get to my boyfriend via public transport in Thailand. He was giving the driver instructions through my phone when my phone went flat. I am now alone in the passenger seat of a car, next to a creepy old driver, no idea where he is taking me, and I don't speak a word of Thai. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19164) - you deserved it (4166)
On 11/28/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand (Krung Thep)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
