Fence

Search for a member

Fence

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6900
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Fence : I'm a kid from Maryland who's really quite boring. I draw stupid comics and play music in an indie-ternative-ska-rap-hardcore-emo-metal band that's going nowhere, and getting there noisily. And..... that's all, really. Yeah.

Fence's page activity

Visits<b>CLEAr_to_me_now</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 2:46am<b>Already_Dead</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 10:17pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 4:48pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 07/27/2010 at 10:08pm

Fence's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Fence's badges

Fence's favorite FMLs

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2011 at 12:48am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

by thehumanshield / 08/05/2011 at 4:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents wouldn't let me go to the fair because they reckon my IQ is so low, I could quite possibly choke on cotton candy and pass out confused by the hall of mirrors. FML

by vsf / 08/01/2011 at 8:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing my guitar outside my apartment building, and some people had put some money in my guitar case. One guy threw in what I thought was a crumpled piece of paper or something. It was actually a used condom. It leaked all over the money and my case. FML

by gross / 07/14/2011 at 9:09pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

by gir / 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

by ohno / 07/13/2011 at 12:43am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I was told that I may die by the time I'm 30, and that I should Google the disorder because he doesn't know what it is for sure. FML

by Googleit / 06/29/2011 at 12:44pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML

by beekeke45 / 06/25/2011 at 9:39am / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids

Today, I had to go to a birthday party for 10 year old triplets. They've all been dead for more than 9 years. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2011 at 12:03am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

by Devon / 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a mumbled conversation with myself in a supermarket aisle about whether or not to buy a bottle of bourbon. Nothing screams "pathetic loser" like an alcoholic in denial having a debate with himself out loud near strangers. FML

by Andre / 05/16/2011 at 12:37am / Miscellaneous

Today, I was awoken by my neighbor pounding on my back door at 3 am, only to look outside and see my car engulfed in flames. FML

Today, my father who left my family over 10 years ago and never contacted us or paid child support, poked me on Facebook. FML

by poked / 03/05/2011 at 7:24pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2011 at 11:21am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy