Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Fence

Search for a member

Fence

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5895
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Fence : I'm a kid from Maryland who's really quite boring. I draw stupid comics and play music in an indie-ternative-ska-rap-hardcore-emo-metal band that's going nowhere, and getting there noisily. And..... that's all, really. Yeah.

Fence's page activity

Visits<b>CLEAr_to_me_now</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 2:46am<b>Already_Dead</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 10:17pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 4:48pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 07/27/2010 at 10:08pm

Fence's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Fence's badges

Fence's favorite FMLs

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

#17496000
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27973) - you deserved it (3352)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

#17390197
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36275) - you deserved it (3585)

On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

#17375446
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50801) - you deserved it (2561)

On 08/05/2011 at 4:41am - misc - by thehumanshield - United States (California)

Today, my parents wouldn't let me go to the fair because they reckon my IQ is so low, I could quite possibly choke on cotton candy and pass out confused by the hall of mirrors. FML

#17335799
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25835) - you deserved it (5900)

On 08/01/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by vsf - United States

Today, I was playing my guitar outside my apartment building, and some people had put some money in my guitar case. One guy threw in what I thought was a crumpled piece of paper or something. It was actually a used condom. It leaked all over the money and my case. FML

#17112659
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42288) - you deserved it (4541)

On 07/14/2011 at 9:09pm - intimacy - by gross - Canada

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31891) - you deserved it (91639)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

#17088457
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31956) - you deserved it (6528)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was told that I may die by the time I'm 30, and that I should Google the disorder because he doesn't know what it is for sure. FML

#16909207
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39562) - you deserved it (3105)

On 06/29/2011 at 12:44pm - health - by Googleit - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML

#16847763
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18547) - you deserved it (63412)

On 06/25/2011 at 9:39am - kids - by beekeke45 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I had to go to a birthday party for 10 year old triplets. They've all been dead for more than 9 years. FML

#16755181
391 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42216) - you deserved it (6280)

On 06/20/2011 at 12:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33084) - you deserved it (20332)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I had a mumbled conversation with myself in a supermarket aisle about whether or not to buy a bottle of bourbon. Nothing screams "pathetic loser" like an alcoholic in denial having a debate with himself out loud near strangers. FML

#16199219
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9703) - you deserved it (27675)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:37am - misc - by Andre -

Today, I was awoken by my neighbor pounding on my back door at 3 am, only to look outside and see my car engulfed in flames. FML

#15226621
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37725) - you deserved it (2654)

On 03/07/2011 at 4:19am - misc - by WTF -

Today, my father who left my family over 10 years ago and never contacted us or paid child support, poked me on Facebook. FML

#15209199
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57697) - you deserved it (3690)

On 03/05/2011 at 7:24pm - misc - by poked - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML

#15162100
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13490) - you deserved it (40793)

On 03/01/2011 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: