About Fence : I'm a kid from Maryland who's really quite boring. I draw stupid comics and play music in an indie-ternative-ska-rap-hardcore-emo-metal band that's going nowhere, and getting there noisily. And..... that's all, really. Yeah.
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Fence's favorite FMLs
Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML
by yosenfal / 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm / United Kingdom (Plymouth) / Intimacy
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML
by Anonymous / 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my wife sent me to the store to pick stuff up so we could make BLTs. I got the bacon, but couldn't remember what else went into them, so I bought an avocado and napkins. When I got back home, my wife very slowly and sarcastically explained what BLT stands for. FML
by Anonymous / 04/07/2012 at 3:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/29/2012 at 12:53pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by J Rush / 03/21/2012 at 7:46am / United Kingdom (Powys) / Health
by unholy shit / 01/23/2012 at 5:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Nico / 11/12/2011 at 10:42am / France / Miscellaneous
Today, my young son wanted to rent some movie with talking animals in it for us to watch together. I couldn't say no, but talking animal movies freak me out big time, I either start to cry or feel nauseous. Especially ones with dogs. What is wrong with me? FML
by Pk45 / 11/11/2011 at 10:37am / United Kingdom (Swansea) / Animals
by Anonymous / 11/01/2011 at 5:03am / United States / Miscellaneous
by mimi / 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML
by MJjunior / 08/31/2011 at 12:04pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids
by piece of shed / 08/31/2011 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, thanks to my wife's confession, I found out that the 14 year old child I've raised since I was 16 isn't related to me at all. But at least this narrows the real father down to one of three other guys. FML
by candie / 08/26/2011 at 10:10pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
- Today, I screamed so hard during a nightmare that I developed Laryngitis. I work in a call center.… Today, I had to work a double shift as a server with a multi-fractured foot because my boss decided… Today my manager tried to force me to sign an employee contract (I've worked here a year) that she…