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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Fedor_is_KING

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Fedor_is_KING
  • Town/Country : Kailua, USA - Hawaii
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1216
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Fedor_is_KING : I'm a pimp
I'm a god in "Words with Friends" play me and find out
I'm 23 (and a quarter)
I'm a Twitterholic (PM me and follow my lewdness)
I cryed during AVATAR
I spelt "cried" wrong
I make smartass comments. This is my attempt at humor
During Modern Warfare 2, I did not kill any Russian citizens during the undercover terrorist level, I'm a sweet guy, I know.

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Fedor_is_KING's favorite FMLs

Today, I overheard my parents in the kitchen talking about how they wanted to try anal tonight. There is over three and a half feet of snow outside, leaving me no way to escape the horrible sounds and mental images yet to come. FML

#15141244 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (39059) - you deserved it (2825)

On 02/27/2011 at 4:42pm - intimacy - by Sam (woman) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex with my 'corpse'. FML

#14881975 (233)

I agree, your life sucks (42077) - you deserved it (5499)

On 02/07/2011 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by Anon. (woman) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018 (264)

I agree, your life sucks (31074) - you deserved it (10652)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML

#12201100 (349)

I agree, your life sucks (29937) - you deserved it (6929)

On 07/30/2010 at 2:45am - intimacy - by hairless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I put on some goggles on in the pool, only to go underwater and see an old man 'discretely' jerking it. FML

#9152447 (166)

I agree, your life sucks (25573) - you deserved it (2833)

On 03/17/2010 at 2:12am - intimacy - by today -

Today, I learned that a few pubes on your bed can stop you from getting laid. FML

#9095139 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (4423) - you deserved it (16733)

On 03/15/2010 at 2:00am - intimacy - by PubelishedAuthor (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML

#9015230 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (20564) - you deserved it (2047)

On 03/12/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by ugh - United States

Today, I was eating a hotdog. My huge Siberian Husky, upon becoming aware of this, jumped up on me. He forced his tongue into my mouth and ate the food I was in the middle of eating. FML

#8980708 (275)

I agree, your life sucks (20247) - you deserved it (4837)

On 03/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Illinois)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML

#8889344 (212)

I agree, your life sucks (19560) - you deserved it (4175)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I went to see my boyfriend for comfort because I was in so much pain. The first thing he asked me when I saw him with huge cheeks? When would be the next time I could give him a blowjob. FML

#8771730 (248)

I agree, your life sucks (11821) - you deserved it (2236)

On 03/02/2010 at 11:58am - intimacy - by fatcheeks (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had just finished riding my bike when I ran into the girl I am secretly in love with. While I walked over to her I got an erection through my spandex biking shorts. FML

#8730305 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (13038) - you deserved it (6661)

On 02/28/2010 at 9:15pm - intimacy - by hornyloser770 - Sent from mobile version

Today, a friend of mine sent me a message saying, "Man, I am so sorry but we were both really drunk and I swear it didn't mean anything." FML

#8654882 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (16738) - you deserved it (2648)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:07am - misc - by single now - United States

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

#7609277 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (30291) - you deserved it (8125)

On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

#7318001 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (17452) - you deserved it (8287)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

#6768891 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (18647) - you deserved it (4877)

On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)