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FearTheTurtle17

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FearTheTurtle17

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  • Number of visits : 60
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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FearTheTurtle17's favorite FMLs

Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML

#19613905
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21176) - you deserved it (3718)

On 05/12/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by Andy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

#19578544
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17414) - you deserved it (29799)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother and I went to a meeting at my school about a camping trip the students in my grade will be going on. When the time to ask questions came, my mother raised her hand and loudly asked, "What if my child is on their period during the trip?" FML

#19281445
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32200) - you deserved it (2021)

On 03/15/2012 at 3:49am - misc - by Bebefer - United States (California)

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

#19279551
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34711) - you deserved it (2508)

On 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm - misc - by CallaC (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28982) - you deserved it (18126)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, I was opening a present my boyfriend got me for my 21st birthday. What I unwrapped was a Kay jewelers box. Excited, I opened it to find a ring made out of a one dollar bill. FML

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

#19222956
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25278) - you deserved it (7726)

On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

#19215354
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29833) - you deserved it (3908)

On 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was sitting at the mall food court, and wearing a "Blink If You Want Me" shirt. A guy walked by, saw my shirt, and made a point of holding a staring contest with me before moving on. FML

#19139101
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11749) - you deserved it (37359)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm - misc - by KittenNomNom - United States (Texas)

Today, a first date with a guy went so badly that he actually paid me to never call him again. FML

#19137276
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27449) - you deserved it (4802)

On 02/22/2012 at 4:37am - love - by Lonely Gay (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in a grocery store with my great-grandmother. It would've been nice to know she hadn't taken her medication before she started beating the cashier with her umbrella. FML

#19098452
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21117) - you deserved it (1873)

On 02/17/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, some guy hit my car and then threatened to sue me for "parking my car in such a way that it was impossible not to hit it." My car was in the driveway. FML

#18998594
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28279) - you deserved it (1925)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:08am - misc - by dreefsa - United States (California)

Today, I showed off my new tattoo to my friends. Too bad it says "Walk Earless" now instead of "Walk Fearless." That's right, I'm now supporting Van Gogh. FML

#18997714
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12779) - you deserved it (26672)

On 02/05/2012 at 12:54am - misc - by inked - United States (Alabama)

Today, my three-year-old daughter rushed in, excited about her new baby brother or sister. She was so excited, I didn't have the heart to tell her men can't have babies, and I just have a beer gut. FML

#17207646
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27635) - you deserved it (14271)

On 07/21/2011 at 7:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50358) - you deserved it (7821)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)



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