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About FatAbbot : ...???, ???, ???!!
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5464) - you deserved it (1617)
On 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21425) - you deserved it (1697)
On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (3333) - you deserved it (14314) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16305) - you deserved it (1757)
On 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm - misc - by axel519 (man) - United States
Today, while standing completely still at Walmart, I was hit by a drunk man on a Jazzy Scooter. He laughed, said it was an accident, gunned the scooter and took out two more people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16832) - you deserved it (1554)
On 12/08/2011 at 9:48am - misc - by skidmark (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18558) - you deserved it (2480)
On 12/02/2011 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I learned that my hairdo must resemble a rat. I found out when a hawk swooped down and dug its claws into my head while I was sunbathing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7107) - you deserved it (1707)
On 12/02/2011 at 12:14am - animals - by inpain - United States (California)
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15308) - you deserved it (22633)
On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40683) - you deserved it (11118)
On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31856) - you deserved it (5294)
On 03/21/2011 at 12:25am - health - by radiationkillz (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29381) - you deserved it (5212)
On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29384) - you deserved it (9560)
On 03/05/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by insomnitude (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite" now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32106) - you deserved it (3158)
On 08/27/2010 at 5:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML
I agree, your life sucks (3755) - you deserved it (13746)
On 03/03/2010 at 11:34am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5581) - you deserved it (23190)
On 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by CrappyValentine (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
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