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About Fanoodle : It's like this is my profile...
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my husband of ten years was playing the Sims. I asked him about the house he built. Apparently, it was his dream house, and he recreated himself as a Sim so he could live in it. Then I asked him where the wife was. There was no wife. It was his happy place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41079) - you deserved it (7222)
On 05/31/2009 at 1:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - Poland (Katowice)
Today, I was feeling rebellious, I decided to procrastinate instead of studying for my really important English test tomorrow. I was having a pretty good time until I realized my idea of procrastinating was cleaning my TI-83 graphing calculator with rubbing alcohol and Q-tips. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14381) - you deserved it (35619)
On 05/19/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48179) - you deserved it (16690)
On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my friend Kate and I were helping build a playground. Halfway through, a construction worker asks where we go to school. I told him we graduated and proudly held degrees in psych. The construction worker stopped mid-dig, glanced at us sadly and said, "yeah that's what my degree's in too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39516) - you deserved it (5836)
On 05/17/2009 at 12:20am - work - by blairheir721 (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, while biking I got into a major crash with two cars. The cars were parked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8625) - you deserved it (38220)
On 05/16/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Pokerking98 - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on it's back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11241) - you deserved it (38798)
On 05/16/2009 at 8:21am - animals - by killer (woman) - Latvia (Riga)
Today, a cab driver had to sign me out of the emergency room because I didn't know who else to call. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41812) - you deserved it (2760)
On 05/15/2009 at 12:35pm - health - by ccc (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48351) - you deserved it (4988)
On 05/13/2009 at 9:45pm - kids - by chelserusera (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my Dad took me to a yankee game at the new yankee stadium. During the 5th inning the camera crew put a man on the big screen. I then yelled out "Look at that ugly asshole!". It was the guy sitting 4 seats to the left of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5888) - you deserved it (66433)
On 05/10/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by XxespoxX (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I took my mom out to a fancy restaurant, and spent close to $300 on her Mother's Day present. Later, my little brother drew her a card with crayons on pink construction paper. She cried. He is 20 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49927) - you deserved it (4225)
On 05/10/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by Jess-zee (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (289171) - you deserved it (35511)
On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18568) - you deserved it (59920)
On 05/09/2009 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by Jeremy (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mom and I were watching this movie in which some girls start making out. My mother calls them "sinners" and that they will "burn in hell twice". Then she says "God doesn't like gays". I'm a lesbian. I picked out this movie as a way of coming out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77131) - you deserved it (10130)
On 05/07/2009 at 9:39pm - love - by HidenSeek (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was walking on the track when this really cute guy shows up. I was hot and sweaty, and wanted to impress him by pouring water on myself. Instead of being turned on, all he saw was me wiping my face on my shirt screaming. It wasn't water, I forgot I had brought Sprite. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7294) - you deserved it (69881)
On 05/06/2009 at 7:36am - love - by gymbob (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I saw a couple of beetles doing it. Jealous, I quickly crushed them with my boot while screaming, "IF I CAN'T DO IT, NOBODY WILL!" All the little kids playing on the local playground, including parents supervising them, gave me dirty, confused looks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15578) - you deserved it (84130)
On 05/06/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
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