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Fang713's favorite FMLs
Today, I heard someone try to get into my back garden. I ran to the front door, opened it and shouted at whoever it was. I then saw a police officer appear, following the person who'd jumped my fence. I then realised I wasn't wearing any trousers. I'd shouted at the police half naked. FML
by Sammmmi / 06/22/2016 at 2:35pm / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML
by danielzcwu / 12/29/2014 at 2:11pm / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Transportation
by tine / 11/16/2014 at 4:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by Makeitdance / 05/11/2014 at 10:46am / United States (California) / Work
by MsConfusedd / 10/27/2013 at 12:11am / United States / Miscellaneous
by sleeplessinrichmond / 09/15/2013 at 2:02am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML
by Aliiiice / 07/16/2013 at 9:18am / France (Haute-Normandie) / Health
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
by dating walter white's gf apparently / 04/06/2013 at 3:13pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I found out that two kids were able to, without much effort, convince my 16-year-old daughter that her friend's house was used to smuggle out Jews during WWII. His house was built in 2007. We also live in America. FML
by Jessica / 08/21/2012 at 4:21am / United States / Kids
by areyouserial / 12/05/2011 at 8:21am / United States / Miscellaneous
by rastafarimon / 04/17/2011 at 1:56am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by kas / 04/30/2009 at 1:41pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation
Today, I was in IKEA, furniture shopping with my dad. He was looking at one couch that was particularly small. I said "dad that couch is for like a midget." I look over to see a midget looking at me, sitting on the same couch in a different color. He definitely heard me. FML
by Nikki / 04/04/2009 at 11:40pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
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