This member hasn't filled in their description.
Falling_Upwards's FML badges
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Falling_Upwards's favorite FMLs
by CutestBoysEver / 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by Indianagirl94 / 10/29/2012 at 6:22pm / United States / Love
Today, it was my 2 year anniversary with my boyfriend. As we were about to exchange gifts, he got a call and said he had to go home immediately. What was the emergency? His guild leader couldn't find another healer to finish a raid and promised my boyfriend gear if he would step up. FML
by Marie / 10/17/2012 at 1:16am / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 8:36am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML
by Dino / 10/12/2012 at 2:36am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML
by OhMeGerd / 10/05/2012 at 10:56am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he came. This was a good thing, except when he did he started bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I asked him about it, all he said was, "I thought you'd like it." FML
by wickedbeauty333 / 09/26/2012 at 6:54pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
by Anonymous / 09/26/2012 at 4:27pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML
by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
- « Previous page
- Next page »
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…
- Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about… Today, I was sleeping on an airplane. I dreamed that I was running my hands up and down my friend's… Today, I put a sock on my dorm room door to get everyone to think I was getting laid. In truth, I'm…
- Today, returning home, I found my roommate trying one of my bras. When he saw my shocked face, the… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, and since forever, my boyfriend talks in his sleep. Last night, he told me, “I like you very…