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Failzoid

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Failzoid
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 32662
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Failzoid : I fail. :)

Failzoid's last visitors

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Failzoid's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Failzoid's favorite FMLs

Today, I invited everyone to a gig I'm playing at a bar. They closed it down just for me when I told them how many people were attending, and I spent all day setting it up. Turns out nobody showed up besides my mom, my dad, and 2 of my cousins. I still had to play 7 songs in front of them. FML

#4546975
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40403) - you deserved it (5902)

On 08/15/2009 at 11:02am - misc - by playinmyguitar (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to the movies alone after the boy I was seeing told me he was busy studying for exams. I found him making out with another girl whilst in the queue. When I confronted him by text he denied that it was him. I saw him check the text and reply. FML

#4545091
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42203) - you deserved it (3875)

On 08/15/2009 at 6:22am - misc - by pink_cupcakes - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boss walked in my office to see me busy making a little Post-it dress for my pen. FML

#3610078
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11066) - you deserved it (50358)

On 07/09/2009 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I woke up to 70 new text messages and 100 calls all from numbers I didn't know. The night before I got into a heated argument with my old best friend about who was prettier. She got mad and posted my number on Craigslist as a prostitute. Apparently I won. FML

#721624
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66606) - you deserved it (20811)

On 03/31/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

#560138
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91389) - you deserved it (28440)

On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
859 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49428) - you deserved it (598635)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend at his college and when I walked into the dorm he was lying in his bed with another girl. When he saw me he simply said, "April Fool's!" It's March 19th. FML

#461201
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132195) - you deserved it (8038)

On 03/19/2009 at 3:40am - intimacy - by cmerr (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned I made the dean's honor list for my college for the first time since attending. I asked my dad if he was proud of me, to which he replied, "when you're as successful as your brother, I'll be proud." My brother is a Chippendale's dancer. FML

Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML

#459087
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26251) - you deserved it (99372)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by JohnMackSquirts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML

#446324
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95355) - you deserved it (23619)

On 03/18/2009 at 6:42pm - love - by Syferix (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was nude modeling for the first time for a life art class. The only criteria for the class was that I not move at all while being observed. After a few seconds I noticed a really hot girl drawing me. I got a hard on. FML

#442796
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68335) - you deserved it (22519)

On 03/18/2009 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Opplyst11 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up at three in the morning when two cops busted in the door to my apartment and a frantic voice on my cellphone saying "Sir? Sir? Are you all right? Sir?" Turns out I had been having a nightmare and dreamed I called 911. I actually did. FML

#440568
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63459) - you deserved it (7692)

On 03/18/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by Miller_Time (man) - United States

Today, I woke up at three in the morning when two cops busted in the door to my apartment and a frantic voice on my cellphone saying "Sir? Sir? Are you all right? Sir?" Turns out I had been having a nightmare and dreamed I called 911. I actually did. FML

#440568
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63459) - you deserved it (7692)

On 03/18/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by Miller_Time (man) - United States

Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML

#438513
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64878) - you deserved it (22858)

On 03/18/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by bluten (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant, I'd forgotten my glasses and had a migraine. I was straining my eyes, squinting and rubbing my temples to alleviate my migraine. I was kicked out of the restaurant and banned henceforth because my waitress thought I was mocking her eyes. FML

#433810
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71863) - you deserved it (9009)

On 03/18/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by lemonjuice (woman) - United States (Maine)



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