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FacePALM24

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FacePALM24
  • Town/Country : Los Angeles
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 23 August 1980 (33 years)
  • Number of visits : 22158
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 27 posted

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FacePALM24's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my SUV in to get the oil changed, and the tires rotated. They allowed me to stay there, because they said it would only take 30 minutes. So I sit there in the waiting room, and I look through the window only to see my SUV falling off the lift, from 6 feet in the air. FML

#5955896
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34026) - you deserved it (2911)

On 10/23/2009 at 6:09am - misc - by effmylife (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the 86 year old guy next door told me I needed three things in life to succeed: a cook book, a boyfriend, and a boob job. FML

#5799559
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25590) - you deserved it (3410)

On 10/12/2009 at 4:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45844) - you deserved it (3719)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was taking a group shot with my friends when I asked a stranger to take the picture for us. He backed up and told us to squish closer together, and when he was at least 20 feet away, he turned and ran off with my camera. FML

#5609665
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27389) - you deserved it (15489)

On 10/02/2009 at 7:32pm - money - by jacked (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I just came back from the vet. I spent a lot of money on a pet tortoise at the local pet store and it didn't come out of its shell when I bought it. The owner just said it sleeps in the day and it'll be shy for a week or so. Turns out it was dead. FML

#5247865
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31820) - you deserved it (6891)

On 09/14/2009 at 6:05am - money - by JhKhS (man) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, on a plane I was showing my brother the life jackets kept under the seat. After pulling on what I thought was the lifejacket, I then realized that they were kept in the arm rest to my right and for the last five minutes I had been pulling on the foot of the man who was sitting behind me. FML

#4826792
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7936) - you deserved it (33550)

On 08/26/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML

#4713882
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33847) - you deserved it (3868)

On 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by Ben (man) - United States

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

#4606159
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66125) - you deserved it (7628)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by ZSL (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML

#4596913
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55361) - you deserved it (11850)

On 08/17/2009 at 9:50am - misc - by malebonding (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was home alone and I started to sing Halo by Beyonce. I was starting to get into it and began singing with more passion until the phone rang. It was my neighbor begging me to please shut the hell up. FML

#4582506
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11423) - you deserved it (29020)

On 08/16/2009 at 9:00pm - misc - by Ricky (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML

#4483118
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50568) - you deserved it (19027)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out if you slide down the stairs on a foam matress topper, it just folds under instead of sliding. Then you slide the rest of the way down on your knees and break your nose at the bottom. FML

#4186568
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13459) - you deserved it (62754)

On 07/31/2009 at 5:12pm - misc - by ohhmydamn (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55309) - you deserved it (16743)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I found out that my husband made a replica of our family on The Sims 3. I also found out he killed me off a couple weeks ago and made a new wife, KiKi. FML

#4043992
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55141) - you deserved it (5058)

On 07/26/2009 at 12:28am - love - by nosrepamai82 (woman) - United States (Florida)



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