Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FYLorYDIohno

Search for a member

FYLorYDIohno

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1384
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About FYLorYDIohno : Rawr

FYLorYDIohno's page activity

Visits<b>ShroudedKnife</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 4:40pm<b>TheAtomicBomb</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 10:35pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 12:16pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 1:02pm<b>NDForever1</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 10:03pm<b>krazy789</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 7:47pm<b>10220706</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 10:25pm<b>zingline89</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 11:11am<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 4:37am<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 2:57am<b>Flippier999</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 11:31pm<b>pavingboy</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 10:52am<b>Svxnt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 8:04pm<b>KobeLebroJordan</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 11:42pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 7:41pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 2:59am<b>spursunited</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 2:27pm<b>waffleeater_153</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 6:03pm

FYLorYDIohno's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of FYLorYDIohno's badges

FYLorYDIohno's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my best friend made a program to reply to my text messages with random sentences from a list. It took 15 minutes of texting before I finally noticed. FML

#20959084
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40060) - you deserved it (6113)

On 11/15/2013 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Gujarat)

Today, my boyfriend and I watched the new movie "The Purge." After the movie, I jokingly asked him that if the U.S. had such a purge in real life, would he participate, and who would he kill first. Without missing a beat, he said, "you." FML

#20714140
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44482) - you deserved it (8447)

On 06/08/2013 at 7:43pm - misc - by purged (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64971) - you deserved it (9795)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

#20110803
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38209) - you deserved it (5957)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was fired for telling a customer's kid to shut his mouth. As revenge, I sent the CEO a picture I acquired months ago of my boss drunkenly pissing on a cow. He wrote that it was the funniest thing he had ever seen, and that I am "clearly an insufferable killjoy; a total liability to the company." FML

#19934119
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7970) - you deserved it (34444)

On 07/13/2012 at 8:48pm - work - by Alexander D. (man) - United States

Today, I went into Whole Foods asking if they carried a supplement called Carnosine. The girl assisting me had no idea what it was, but asked, "Is this for weight loss?" FML

#19656281
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22692) - you deserved it (4365)

On 05/21/2012 at 8:10am - health - by medosin (woman) - Austria

Today, I woke up to the sound of my car being stolen. FML

#19637548
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26853) - you deserved it (2043)

On 05/17/2012 at 4:41pm - misc - by Unhappymothersday - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

#19596510
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20929) - you deserved it (5300)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:19am - health - by Slowsky (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a repairman came to fix my couch, which is under warranty because the frame had broken in multiple places. To ensure I got a new couch out of the deal, I stabbed multiple holes into the cushion. The guy fixed the frame, but said there was nothing he could do about lacerations on the sofa. FML

#19565371
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5327) - you deserved it (76581)

On 05/02/2012 at 8:43pm - misc - by grovage - United States

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32943) - you deserved it (19848)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, I got bored and decided to visit a porn site. I typed in the address and hit enter. A split second later, I realized I wasn't typing into the browser address bar, but in a chat window on my other screen. I'd been chatting with a girl I wanted to get with at the time. FML

#17719852
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14855) - you deserved it (63614)

On 09/11/2011 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by Extended_desktop (man) - Poland

Today, I was on my way home on my bike when a lady in a 4WD cut me off while beeping her horn and calling me a "stupid f**ker who should get a proper education." In her car, she was smoking, and her three children weren't wearing seat belts. FML

#15661688
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39592) - you deserved it (3415)

On 04/06/2011 at 3:43am - misc - by faza4327 (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML

#15373244
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49089) - you deserved it (5676)

On 03/18/2011 at 9:36pm - animals - by SpideyFace (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

#15333405
384 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21477) - you deserved it (94203)

On 03/16/2011 at 3:31am - intimacy - by eric - United States

Today, I received a call from the police about a car accident that I was a witness to. As the only witness who stopped to help, I was remembered by the other cars involved. They're blaming me for the accident. The cops want to talk. FML

#14993502
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31552) - you deserved it (2629)

On 02/15/2011 at 8:13pm - misc - by Nearis (woman) - United States (Iowa)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: