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I agree, their lives suck
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Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML
I agree, your life sucks (53779) - you deserved it (7634)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24275) - you deserved it (3964)
On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I was fired for telling a customer's kid to shut his mouth. As revenge, I sent the CEO a picture I acquired months ago of my boss drunkenly pissing on a cow. He wrote that it was the funniest thing he had ever seen, and that I am "clearly an insufferable killjoy; a total liability to the company." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4721) - you deserved it (20023)
On 07/13/2012 at 8:48pm - work - by Alexander D. (man) - United States
Today, I went into Whole Foods asking if they carried a supplement called Carnosine. The girl assisting me had no idea what it was, but asked, "Is this for weight loss?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14486) - you deserved it (2800)
On 05/21/2012 at 8:10am - health - by medosin (woman) - Austria
Today, I woke up to the sound of my car being stolen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18353) - you deserved it (1223)
On 05/17/2012 at 4:41pm - misc - by Unhappymothersday - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12837) - you deserved it (3425)
On 05/09/2012 at 6:19am - health - by Slowsky (woman) - United States (California)
Today, a repairman came to fix my couch, which is under warranty because the frame had broken in multiple places. To ensure I got a new couch out of the deal, I stabbed multiple holes into the cushion. The guy fixed the frame, but said there was nothing he could do about lacerations on the sofa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3068) - you deserved it (60489)
On 05/02/2012 at 8:43pm - misc - by grovage - United States
Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22505) - you deserved it (12957)
On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)
Today, I got bored and decided to visit a porn site. I typed in the address and hit enter. A split second later, I realized I wasn't typing into the browser address bar, but in a chat window on my other screen. I'd been chatting with a girl I wanted to get with at the time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10637) - you deserved it (52861)
On 09/11/2011 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by Extended_desktop (man) - Poland
Today, I was on my way home on my bike when a lady in a 4WD cut me off while beeping her horn and calling me a "stupid f**ker who should get a proper education." In her car, she was smoking, and her three children weren't wearing seat belts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29874) - you deserved it (2394)
On 04/06/2011 at 3:43am - misc - by faza4327 (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39441) - you deserved it (4774)
On 03/18/2011 at 9:36pm - animals - by SpideyFace (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16260) - you deserved it (69692)
On 03/16/2011 at 3:31am - intimacy - by eric - United States
Today, I received a call from the police about a car accident that I was a witness to. As the only witness who stopped to help, I was remembered by the other cars involved. They're blaming me for the accident. The cops want to talk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22555) - you deserved it (1783)
On 02/15/2011 at 8:13pm - misc - by Nearis (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32935) - you deserved it (21133) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I was on a walk when I ran into the woman whose kids I babysit. We had a quick chat, and I noticed she had just blown her driveway clean. As I left, I said "You did a nice blow job!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17790) - you deserved it (9863)
On 01/06/2011 at 12:57am - intimacy - by babysitter (woman) - United States (Washington)
Friday 24 May 2013
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