Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FUUUandyourmom

Offline (the 04/18/2014 at 8:56pm) | Search for a member

FUUUandyourmom

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 30 December 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7795
  • Number of comments : 143
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About FUUUandyourmom : :)

FUUUandyourmom's page activity

Visits<b>frozenlover218</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 2:49pm<b>FaultInMyStars</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:45pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 2:48pm<b>Arni792</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 9:35am<b>its_bree</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 9:34am<b>poncho55</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 8:13pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 8:39pm<b>totallybananas</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 6:43pm<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 10:17am<b>laurenlaurenta</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 10:06pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 6:49pm<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 1:04am<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 5:56pm<b>true_man69</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 7:08pm<b>babeybazooka</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 5:55pm<b>IceMan11</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 10:34am<b>ChloeLentin</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 2:41am<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 2:18am

FUUUandyourmom's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of FUUUandyourmom's badges

FUUUandyourmom's favorite FMLs

Today, my recently ex-girlfriend's mother called me regarding her baby girl, saying, "If you mess with the chicklet, you mess with the momma hen." I have no idea what the hell this means for my future, but I'm a bit scared. FML

#18181651
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29220) - you deserved it (4862)

On 11/07/2011 at 2:20am - love - by roadkill0321 - United States

Today, I had to endure yet another evening of the old man in the apartment above me screaming, "No, I don't want to shave my nose hair, you crazy bitch." He lives alone. FML

#18178318
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27869) - you deserved it (1989)

On 11/06/2011 at 8:23pm - misc - by hurtsmyears (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at the nail salon, a Korean woman was making fun of me. I kindly told her, in Korean, that I understood. She kindly told me, in English, that she didn't care. FML

#18150713
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42213) - you deserved it (3803)

On 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm - work - by EunJung - United States

Today, while in the grocery store my boyfriend said very loudly "Don't make me hit you in public again!" He says things like this every time we are in the grocery store line. The sad part is that it's better than when he says "Are you gonna pay for the stuff you put in your purse?" FML

#18109383
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33362) - you deserved it (8882)

On 10/30/2011 at 4:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

#18095977
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26496) - you deserved it (4906)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML

#18079662
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22409) - you deserved it (44806)

On 10/26/2011 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML

#18070582
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27023) - you deserved it (32406)

On 10/25/2011 at 6:15am - intimacy - by sad - Reserved

Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML

#18067303
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43714) - you deserved it (3333)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by KaySchrages92 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16932) - you deserved it (30722)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I came home crying and informed my mother that someone had called me a 'fat bitch' today. She held me at arms length, looked me straight in the eyes, and lovingly said, "You can't change who you are." FML

#18030878
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31802) - you deserved it (6029)

On 10/20/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Meath)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why it would be highly offensive and inappropriate for him to go as Caylee Anthony for Halloween. I think he's still planning on doing it. FML

#18030465
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22525) - you deserved it (4356)

On 10/20/2011 at 10:32am - love - by Miroslav208 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51863) - you deserved it (16561)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, on my first day of being a trainee teacher in a classroom, I told a boy to stop using that stupid accent or else I'll give him a detention. Turns out he just moved here from Romania. FML

#18014852
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8267) - you deserved it (66621)

On 10/18/2011 at 12:08pm - kids - by KillMeNow (man) - United Kingdom (Sefton)

Today, on my first day of being a trainee teacher in a classroom, I told a boy to stop using that stupid accent or else I'll give him a detention. Turns out he just moved here from Romania. FML

#18014852
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8267) - you deserved it (66621)

On 10/18/2011 at 12:08pm - kids - by KillMeNow (man) - United Kingdom (Sefton)

Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML

#17981660
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31519) - you deserved it (2229)

On 10/14/2011 at 10:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: