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Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18734) - you totally deserved it (1629)
On 11/17/2009 at 6:16am - work - by Paramedic (man) - United Kingdom (Rochdale)
Today, I met and asked a cute girl out on a date. We decided to meet at a fancy restaurant downtown. When I got there I saw her sitting with what turned out to be her parents. They made a huge scene, calling me a pedophile and a low-life. Apparently, the girl was 16 years old. I'm 25. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20600) - you totally deserved it (6896)
On 10/23/2009 at 10:23pm - misc - by lloydLO (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7067) - you totally deserved it (26605)
On 08/21/2009 at 1:18am - kids - by Mak10 (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was talking with my friend-turned boyfriend and cutely told him that I could no longer remember all the things that he used to do that bothered me. He told me he could remember every one of mine and listed them all off for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10849) - you totally deserved it (23817)
On 08/11/2009 at 1:01am - love - by thanksjerk (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend was complaining of a scorpion sting on his leg. I told him to stop whining and get over it. Later, as I went to sleep, I felt a sharp pain in my arm. As I flipped on the light, I saw a scorpion crawling over the blankets. Now my entire arm is numb and I can't stop crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4366) - you totally deserved it (53251)
On 08/10/2009 at 11:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, a friend asked me if I could help him set up the stage for his wedding. Feeling honored that he considered me a close enough friend to aid him on his special day, I agreed to help. Turns out we aren't so close. I was asked to leave after I was done because I hadn't actually been invited. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36328) - you totally deserved it (1114)
On 07/28/2009 at 2:34am - misc - by partypooper (man) - United States (California)
Today, whilst cleaning out his desk, my dad "accidentally" threw away my summer homework. That's 100 pages, over a duration of 2 months. School starts in 3 days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36884) - you totally deserved it (3525)
On 07/21/2009 at 3:34am - work - by homework (man) - India (Delhi)
Today, I was at the airport to catch a plane. It was very crowded at the gate and there was nowhere to sit except for a flat metal bench, so I sat on that. Turns out I was sitting on a luggage scale, so my weight was displayed for everybody to see. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11469) - you totally deserved it (27277)
On 07/21/2009 at 2:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was talking to the girl I've liked for 2 years. We were assigned partners for a History project so we were going to work on it at my house. When she asked me for directions, I told her I lived on Woodcock Road. She yelled slapped me and stormed off. I was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36149) - you totally deserved it (1434)
On 07/20/2009 at 12:04am - love - by thicklysettled (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went on a date with a girl. She drove while texting someone then stopped at a house and told me to wait in the car. She left her phone so I looked at the last text and it says "I'm here for the quicky". Our "date" was a decoy to throw her mom off so she could sleep with another guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48505) - you totally deserved it (2231)
On 07/19/2009 at 8:44am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44898) - you totally deserved it (3652)
On 06/29/2009 at 12:38pm - kids - by dad (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I saw that Pixar had put out a teaser trailer for Toy Story 3. I got so excited to watch it that had to go lay in bed for a few minutes in order to calm myself down. I'm 19 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13831) - you totally deserved it (29481)
On 05/29/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by LALALALA (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35395) - you totally deserved it (4854)
On 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (187334) - you totally deserved it (15260)
On 03/21/2009 at 3:15am - intimacy - by jilted (woman) - United States (Missouri)
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