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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FNovus

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FNovus
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 3 September 1993 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1722
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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FNovus's favorite FMLs

Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML

#13777099 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (4481) - you deserved it (21968)

On 11/09/2010 at 12:08pm - misc - by johnboy - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

#13762266 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (22377) - you deserved it (3750)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with a one-legged cricket I found in my room. I'm keeping him. He has a name. FML

#13696157 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (22939) - you deserved it (7712)

On 11/03/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by nk (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was cashier at work. The line came to a stop, but there was still people there. I kept saying next, but no one moved. I finally looked over the counter where there was a lady who had been standing there the whole time. She was a midget. FML

#13684047 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (25819) - you deserved it (8864)

On 11/02/2010 at 2:20am - work - by saraleerocha - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got my first university math midterm back. I did so bad that my teacher put a sadface on the first page. FML

#13675259 (91)

I agree, your life sucks (15952) - you deserved it (7641)

On 11/01/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up to shit on my floor and my cat hiding under my comforter. I have to get rid of my new fish because my cat is afraid of it. FML

#13581194 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (15186) - you deserved it (1931)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm - animals - by danjoylovefun - United States (Colorado)

Today, after pulling up to my girlfriend's house for dinner with her parents, one of my favorite rock songs begin to play on the radio. After my 3 minutes of air drumming, I look up to see my girlfriend and her parents bouncing with laughter. FML

#13260803 (55)

I agree, your life sucks (5783) - you deserved it (20378)

On 09/30/2010 at 6:33am - misc - by PhilDavisDied? - Sent from mobile version

Today, I attempted to be nice and hold a door open for a person in a wheelchair. He hit the button to open another door. While I pointed out that I would hold the door for him, I realized that the door I was holding open for him led down some stairs. FML

#13227031 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (6631) - you deserved it (19930)

On 09/27/2010 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, it was the first day of astronomy class and we all waited for the professor to enter the classroom. All of a sudden, someone turns the lights off, it's pitch black, and we hear the professor saying, "Greetings earthlings..." It's going to be a long semester. FML

#13070220 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (15204) - you deserved it (12801)

On 09/16/2010 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML

#13031931 (343)

I agree, your life sucks (28582) - you deserved it (8470)

On 09/13/2010 at 5:14am - love - by vikinggirl (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

#9133208 (337)

I agree, your life sucks (20523) - you deserved it (5171)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States

Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a Brazillian wax. If that's not bad enough, my mother heard and yelled from the other room, "I like my furball." FML

#9041294 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (24034) - you deserved it (1518)

On 03/13/2010 at 5:35am - intimacy - by Grossed Out - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I tried to demonstrate to my friend how laughably dull our kitchen knives are by swiping one across my palm. Turns out Dad noticed the problem yesterday and sharpened them. FML

#8991320 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (6047) - you deserved it (31660)

On 03/11/2010 at 3:13am - misc - by ShowOff (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was awoken by a conversation my mom was having with my dog upstairs. She was telling my dog that a ghost lives in our house. She was completely serious. The ghost even has a name and a backstory. FML

#8989012 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (13388) - you deserved it (1462)

On 03/11/2010 at 12:30am - animals - by stuckathome (man) - United States

Today, I was eating a hotdog. My huge Siberian Husky, upon becoming aware of this, jumped up on me. He forced his tongue into my mouth and ate the food I was in the middle of eating. FML

#8980708 (275)

I agree, your life sucks (20245) - you deserved it (4837)

On 03/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Illinois)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.