FMLidiot

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FMLidiot

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3077
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About FMLidiot : blah blah blah

FMLidiot's page activity

Visits<b>SuperDani</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 11:26pm<b>sufrina</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 2:27pm<b>swagmaster696969</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 3:09pm<b>buymevickis92</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 6:23pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 10:45am<b>Kitten_love</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 1:47am<b>rebecca_lobaina</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 9:03am<b>bomberos_08</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 12:04pm<b>Cryptical</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 7:16pm<b>averynicole18</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 10:10pm<b>starbarbazar</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 10:58pm<b>annaw</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 8:19pm<b>iceizisisiz</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 11:40pm<b>DiJsLifeStyle</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 5:20pm<b>clrichmond2009</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 9:28pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 11:26am<b>jaime411</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 3:23pm<b>hurricane210</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 2:05pm

FMLidiot's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of FMLidiot's badges

FMLidiot's favorite FMLs

Today, I was texting a girl I like, explaining how she looks like an attractive celebrity. She responded with a picture of a very unattractive lady and asked if she looked like that. I told her if she had been caught in a burning building, then yes, that would look like her. It was of her mom. FML

by spencerlong / 04/24/2014 at 11:02pm / United States (Washington) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, it was my first day at my new job. Not only does everyone hate me for replacing a guy they all liked, I managed to clog the only functional toilet there. The glares and threatening head-shaking they keep doing probably means I'm screwed. FML

by shite / 01/10/2014 at 4:46pm / United Kingdom / Work

Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML

by chapstick / 01/08/2014 at 10:23pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

by fuckadaisical / 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Intimacy

Today, I was suntanning outside, when I had a bout of nausea. I rushed to the toilet, hoping at all costs to just dry-heave it away. When I lifted the lid, I was faced with two of the most rancid floaters I've ever seen, courtesy of my live-in gran. Well, my stomach's empty now. FML

by rainbows? more like shitstorms / 08/16/2012 at 8:22pm / United States / Health

Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML

by Jarman / 07/26/2012 at 1:39am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML

by checkup / 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Intimacy

Today, I got fired from my job at a weight-loss center because I was too skinny, and apparently it's too depressing for the customers to handle. FML

by jingle / 05/25/2012 at 7:18am / United States (Delaware) / Work

Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2012 at 6:54pm / United States / Health

Today, I finally got the chance to meet this wonderful guy I met on a dating site. She was very excited to see me, too. FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2012 at 1:02pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

by lafinesse / 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm / Miscellaneous

Today, if you live in California, you might have seen a crazy drunk guy naked in front of a McDonald's, waving at everyone. Yeah, that was probably me. FML

by smh / 05/13/2012 at 6:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet.  A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML

by Snickers / 05/12/2012 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML

by Hunter101 / 05/12/2012 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy