About FMLandFYL2_xoxo : I'm 16 and Canadian, eh. I only started this account on 24/12/12, but I've been reading fmls for quite some time. And yes, I know my username is shit; I was in a rush when I made this account and I really wish there was a way to change it -.-
I'll leave you with one of my favourite quotes:
"If you're lucky enough to be different, don't ever change."
YDI master
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Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5241) - you deserved it (63194)
On 11/27/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by obsessed (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, on a plane I was showing my brother the life jackets kept under the seat. After pulling on what I thought was the lifejacket, I then realized that they were kept in the arm rest to my right and for the last five minutes I had been pulling on the foot of the man who was sitting behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7204) - you deserved it (31403)
On 08/26/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I realized that my company's calendar is synchronized throughout the whole building. The entire company now knows that I made love to my wife last Wednesday and Friday, and that I went out with a girl named Janet on Saturday. My wife's name is Julie, and she works in the same building. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7327) - you deserved it (118236)
On 06/26/2009 at 9:32pm - work - by Fred (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24547) - you deserved it (106464)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML
I agree, your life sucks (19074) - you deserved it (74765)
On 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by danggit3290 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19177) - you deserved it (94024)
On 04/27/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by BARF (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I met a guy online. We talked all night long and hit it off amazingly. He told me he'd never felt that way about anyone else, and I agreed. He sent me a picture and he was gorgeous. I sent him one after he assured me he didn't care what I looked like. I haven't heard from him since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59082) - you deserved it (8849)
On 04/08/2009 at 3:19am - love - by DL06 (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9467) - you deserved it (132925)
On 04/07/2009 at 7:46am - misc - by Brastro (man) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46765) - you deserved it (127799)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (9973) - you deserved it (113653)
On 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Creep (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27238) - you deserved it (96475)
On 03/26/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by douchetard (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my friend and I were filming football practice and talking about what guys on the team were attractive and who we would want to get it on with. We didn't realize that the camera was recording everything that we said. The tape was played to the entire team the next day. With sound. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18462) - you deserved it (90585)
On 03/25/2009 at 3:31pm - misc - by Lady_Luck (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (122117) - you deserved it (4847)
On 03/21/2009 at 1:33am - intimacy - by willywonks (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched "What are you doing with my panties!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (11299) - you deserved it (74947)
On 03/20/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by HughGorgy (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24775) - you deserved it (105905)
On 03/18/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by Melaknee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 20 May 2013
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