Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLandFYL2_xoxo

Online | Search for a member

FMLandFYL2_xoxo

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1650
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About FMLandFYL2_xoxo : 17, Canadian and loves frozen yogurt.

I'll leave you with a quote:
"A tiger doesn't lose sleep over the opinion of sheep."

FMLandFYL2_xoxo's page activity

Visits<b>ShroudedKnife</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 12:47am<b>r70093</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 1:26pm<b>1nfinitee</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 7:42pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 5:13pm<b>IAreBox</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 4:42pm<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 5:39pm<b>TTesla</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 10:11am<b>cinskeep43</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 12:19am<b>batah</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 7:06pm<b>ItsKennyBaby</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 2:46pm<b>kb0410</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 11:17am<b>Arni792</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 6:25pm<b>AlexRen</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 6:53pm<b>MaryssaJean</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 4:35am<b>waitwhatsgoingon</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 2:44am<b>elvis103</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 11:50pm<b>cakefete2</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 1:07pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 6:21pm

FMLandFYL2_xoxo's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of FMLandFYL2_xoxo's badges

FMLandFYL2_xoxo's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22251) - you deserved it (45498)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend asked me, "Are you sure you're a guy?" I still have no idea what that was for. FML

#20529151
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45927) - you deserved it (5887)

On 03/03/2013 at 7:17am - intimacy - by Ihatemylife (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

#20526083
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36810) - you deserved it (10650)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by useless pos (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I asked my boyfriend where he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No, I mean at Wendy's. You know, the hot girl from work?" FML

#20524344
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36156) - you deserved it (6037)

On 02/27/2013 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML

#20523003
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26078) - you deserved it (9227)

On 02/26/2013 at 1:09pm - animals - by Puppylove (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML

#20508952
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18561) - you deserved it (53647)

On 02/16/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by uhoh (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

#20480699
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31966) - you deserved it (3328)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:57am - love - by pdub523 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was hanging out with my new boyfriend, and he took me back to his house for the first time. Taped to his bedroom door was a sheet of paper emblazoned with the words: "THE RAPE DUNGEON". I feel safer already. FML

#20478132
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30207) - you deserved it (4524)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:51pm - love - by vagina dentata for christmas, pls (woman) - United States

Today, I was suffering from an asthma attack, so I grabbed my inhaler and took a puff. This was probably very disturbing for the earwig which had somehow made my puffer its home, as I discovered when it shot into my mouth. FML

#20477568
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29464) - you deserved it (2413)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:30am - health - by asthmattack (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

#20477493
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25712) - you deserved it (12356)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by awkwardturtle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML

#20477486
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30321) - you deserved it (2706)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:25am - kids - by teacher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML

#20472335
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39766) - you deserved it (2681)

On 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm - misc - by daddy's girl - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked up sixteen flights of stairs to my room to avoid the lift lines. When I was almost to the top, the fire alarm sounded. FML

#20462640
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29785) - you deserved it (3329)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:02pm - misc - by tired - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

#20460771
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41181) - you deserved it (7193)

On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • FML's Thanksgiving Special: TGS
  • As many of us know through popular culture, today is Thanksgiving in the US. Come on, we’ve all seen a TV show involving a Thanksgiving dinner or plans to do so that have gone awry due to one of the main…

Wednesday 26 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: