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FMLandFYL2_xoxo

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FMLandFYL2_xoxo
  • Town/Country : Toronto, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 887
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About FMLandFYL2_xoxo : 17, Canadian and loves frozen yogurt.

I'll leave you with a quote:
"A tiger doesn't lose sleep over the opinion of sheep."

FMLandFYL2_xoxo's last visitors

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FMLandFYL2_xoxo's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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FMLandFYL2_xoxo's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

#20640404
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60092) - you deserved it (13031)

On 05/04/2013 at 3:22am - kids - by prostitott -

Today, I got hit by a car while riding my bike. Instead of coming to my aid, the driver just laid on his horn and screamed out the window for me to move my ass, because he had places to be. FML

#20609136
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46849) - you deserved it (4772)

On 04/21/2013 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going well until I noticed a picture of a dog hanging on the wall, which reminded me of the ending of Marley and Me. I started crying and had to be escorted out. FML

#20585994
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19284) - you deserved it (45586)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:58am - misc - by crybaby (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

#20577218
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36458) - you deserved it (17977)

On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

#20577178
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48899) - you deserved it (5422)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML

#20570966
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41143) - you deserved it (2875)

On 04/02/2013 at 12:11am - work - by QuinnyZebrass (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML

#20567905
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38136) - you deserved it (4984)

On 03/31/2013 at 3:00am - misc - by Mr.no contacts (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I finished installing remote access CCTV cameras around my house due to the high rate of burglaries around my neighborhood. I turn it on to see my teenage son rubbing one out on the couch. FML

#20563419
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35865) - you deserved it (21268)

On 03/28/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by couch_potato (man) -

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70628) - you deserved it (6034)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was complaining to my husband about a busty but vapid celebrity, and he replied, "She doesn't need brains, honey, she has boobs. You wouldn't understand." FML

#20557361
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30867) - you deserved it (5754)

On 03/24/2013 at 1:14am - love - by Beestings (woman) - United States

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

#20548943
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45055) - you deserved it (13553)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16531) - you deserved it (53576)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to come onto my husband to switch things up. When I started kissing and trying to undress him, he pushed me off, saying "What're you doing? Jeopardy's about to start." FML

#20532214
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37104) - you deserved it (5372)

On 03/05/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by married an old man - United States (California)

Today, wanting to impress my date, I bullshitted her about how I was an environmental scientist. She got so impressed that she invited me over to her place. Not her home, her office. So that I could give her pointers on her current project. She's a real environmental scientist. FML

#20531914
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7919) - you deserved it (63232)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:48am - work - by is there a environmental scientist in the house? - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20322) - you deserved it (42739)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)



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