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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I found out my mom was getting remarried, to my dad. He's been in prison for five years because he pushed her out a window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44952) - you deserved it (1417)
On 09/07/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by kennedygeeee (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51007) - you deserved it (9643)
On 08/17/2009 at 9:50am - misc - by malebonding (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I wore the new bathing suit my boyfriend got me for my birthday to a family reunion pool party. Turns out, it was a gag gift that dissolves after 3 minutes in water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61526) - you deserved it (4793)
On 08/15/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77865) - you deserved it (3141)
On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year old boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42568) - you deserved it (5202)
On 08/12/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by auslander (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, I found out that I was held back in preschool because of some developmental issues. My parents didn't think it was important enough to mention it to me. Why hadn't I figured it out? They also lied to me about how old I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57194) - you deserved it (2794)
On 08/03/2009 at 2:31am - misc - by dumb (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9181) - you deserved it (81953)
On 08/02/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by jeeperspeepers (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had a fight with my little sister. Later she apologized and made me dinner to make up for it. I thought it was pretty good until I found out that instead of using Parmesan cheese in the recipe, she used foot shavings from her Ped Egg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50065) - you deserved it (4597)
On 07/22/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by vomitingnow (man) - United States
Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27503) - you deserved it (70296)
On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my brother replaced my cologne with whiskey. I have a job interview and I smell like a drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34666) - you deserved it (2862)
On 07/17/2009 at 7:14pm - misc - by tukker (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at the waterpark. I decided to go down a slide shaped like a funnel. On the way down, my bikini bottom untied. Then I got lodged in a V shape, arse first, in the hole at the funnel exit, exposing myself to the entire pool until I could slither out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43290) - you deserved it (5672)
On 06/03/2009 at 10:14pm - misc - by canadiankc (man) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)
Today, I was buying an expensive pillow for my mother from a store clerk who wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. After paying, I saw an elderly lady who had dropped a bag, so I walked to help. I walked back to the clerk, who refused to believe I paid. The reason? He didn't recognize my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51970) - you deserved it (3608)
On 06/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by doubleds (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I thought I would make my first trip to the beach. While in the water, I was stung by a jellyfish. My friend had to pee on me. I went back into the water to wash the pee off and got stung by another jellyfish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51842) - you deserved it (6900)
On 05/31/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Heather (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are suppose to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here FML." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16511) - you deserved it (55081)
On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)
Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12576) - you deserved it (51103)
On 05/27/2009 at 7:10pm - work - by waterproblem (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
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