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About FMLaddict2010 : Hey person who just looked at my profile.
The names Blaine
I have my funny moments
But just love to talk to and help people
I can be insane and stubborn, but thats what makes me different, and I take pride in that.
Send me a message. I think you definitely should send me a message because new people+messages= interesting conversations.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Checking you out
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Socialite
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Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7331) - you deserved it (1469)
On 05/02/2012 at 11:46am - intimacy - by winnerwinner (woman) - United States
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3565) - you deserved it (12317) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12735) - you deserved it (1977)
On 03/27/2012 at 3:40am - misc - by blueglover - United States (California)
Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16573) - you deserved it (5113)
On 03/21/2012 at 3:27am - intimacy - by ReallyBro (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (10075) - you deserved it (794)
On 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm - misc - by CallaC (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3249) - you deserved it (6985)
On 02/23/2012 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2314) - you deserved it (4761)
On 02/22/2012 at 2:56am - misc - by jenni6488 - United Kingdom (Gateshead)
Today, my dad was complaining about how he makes so little money, so I suggested he invent something. The first thing that came to his mind was an automatic animal masturbator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16266) - you deserved it (1926)
On 02/21/2012 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by nothowtheydoitinalabama - United States (Oregon)
Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21435) - you deserved it (3078)
On 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Gothicbunnyx3 - United States
Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20140) - you deserved it (3024)
On 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymoosey - Canada
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11705) - you deserved it (952)
On 02/18/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by hatinthelife - United States (Utah)
Today, I'm forced to eat half a package of saltine crackers in my room for dinner. I can't go downstairs to the kitchen because my two roommates are going at it on our kitchen table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7041) - you deserved it (929)
On 02/16/2012 at 2:13am - intimacy - by robzzz (woman) - Canada
Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11221) - you deserved it (18519)
On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I fought back with words against a bully. He cried, and I got detention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10373) - you deserved it (701)
On 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm - misc - by sharpie2792 - United States
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8381) - you deserved it (1584)
On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
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