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FML_TJ

Offline (the 09/13/2014 at 8:02am) | Search for a member

FML_TJ

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 July 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 850
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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FML_TJ's page activity

Visits<b>Colorguardlife_t</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 11:12pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 8:30pm<b>_Rachel_2008</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 6:23pm<b>daffyduck16</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 11:29pm<b>_ansley_2013</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 1:12pm<b>aralc2</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 3:52am<b>flux_panic</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 1:43pm<b>crazoy</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 2:04pm<b>whitetiger13131</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 10:25pm<b>sapoi99</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 12:05am<b>TanyaCat</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 10:42am<b>KaylaMarie00</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 8:13pm<b>Tika876</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 10:31am<b>blackhorizons</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 9:53am<b>TheBadAndGnarly</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 4:56am<b>DevinEleven</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 11:41pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 6:18pm<b>rustycage92</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 3:57pm

FML_TJ's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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FML_TJ's favorite FMLs

Today, since I hadn't eaten and was about to have a three hour class, I bought Panda Express. I sat opposite my classroom to eat. Soon after I started eating, a wad of saliva dropped into my bowl, and I heard someone yell "BONUS POINTS!" from the second floor. FML

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

#20532616
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40931) - you deserved it (3854)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm - kids - by cjw - United States

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. I also found out that her sister is an MMA fighter. She put me in an extremely strong chokehold until I took the break-up back. FML

#20530332
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37265) - you deserved it (6515)

On 03/03/2013 at 11:47pm - love - by she also gave me a wedgie (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35388) - you deserved it (6786)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I downloaded a movie that I already own on DVD, because I was feeling too lazy to get up and fetch it from the living room. I think I've hit rock bottom. FML

#20516729
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10057) - you deserved it (44980) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/21/2013 at 7:16pm - misc - by lolo - Israel (HaDarom)

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39129) - you deserved it (10337)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I spoke to my crush for the first time, and after a while he asked for my number. Ecstatic, I took the first piece of paper I saw out of my purse. I wrote it down and gave it to him, but he handed it back and said, "You might need this." It was an appointment card for my therapist. FML

#20502338
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29328) - you deserved it (7174)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19pm - love - by sofuckingembarassing. (woman) - United States

Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML

#20495499
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43186) - you deserved it (4018)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:38am - love - by PokeWife (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML

#20436663
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40912) - you deserved it (5804)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

#4976961
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17801) - you deserved it (350784)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML

#4331370
818 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26018) - you deserved it (497331)

On 08/06/2009 at 9:35am - misc - by who_could_it_be - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML

#2321503
854 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34147) - you deserved it (254638)

On 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Jerrrr (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

#1550059
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29656) - you deserved it (269096)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:21am - health - by breathalizard (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

#843065
679 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33265) - you deserved it (481136)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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