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FML_TJ's FML badges
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
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FML_TJ's favorite FMLs
by cricketsins / 11/07/2013 at 10:33pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by Where is the faith in Humanity / 11/07/2013 at 6:08pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML
by littledipper / 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm / United States (New York) / Work
by BarryShitpeas / 09/19/2013 at 11:18am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Health
by Anonymous / 08/29/2013 at 3:33pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work
Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML
by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML
by Aliiiice / 07/16/2013 at 9:18am / France (Haute-Normandie) / Health
by lame-o-prof / 07/15/2013 at 5:14pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML
by Anonymous / 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I helped an elderly woman carry her suitcase down a flight of stairs. When I got to the bottom, a man tackled me to the ground thinking I was stealing the woman's luggage. As I lay in pain, he ran up the stairs to return the suitcase and the poor woman had to carry it down on her own. FML
by gooddeedgonebad / 05/26/2013 at 5:19am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm / New Zealand / Transportation
by OPhere / 04/15/2013 at 3:37am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/03/2013 at 8:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML
by ShadowBox / 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was trying to avoid one of our dogs while driving down the drive. Instead I crashed into a… Today, I was at drama club, rehearsing for a play I'm in. But I had to leave early and so I went up… Today, I was talking to a boy I'm interested in and tried to make conversation while taking a sip…