This member hasn't filled in the description.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Today, I smoked weed with friends. Stoned, I put on my sister's high heels instead of my Vans and I walked to 7-11. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16574) - you deserved it (65431)
On 04/27/2013 at 2:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51797) - you deserved it (10775)
On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States
Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68894) - you deserved it (3077)
On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States
Today, I decided to be playful and leave my girlfriend flowers and chocolates from an "Anonymous Admirer". She immediately dumped me, saying she couldn't be with someone who "isn't even as romantic as a stranger". Yep, I think I just got dumped for myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48800) - you deserved it (6608)
On 04/23/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by BestBF - United States (Nebraska)
Today my ex-boyfriend accepted my mother's offer to have his wedding in our backyard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41036) - you deserved it (2950)
On 04/23/2013 at 7:04pm - love - by traitor (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31787) - you deserved it (4319)
On 04/23/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got so drunk I called my ex-boyfriend and confessed my love to him. All in front of my current boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17140) - you deserved it (60620)
On 04/22/2013 at 6:31pm - love - by Out from Hell (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28587) - you deserved it (94543)
Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument. Naturally, I drove over to my best friend's house for comfort. My boyfriend saw me driving past his house and promptly broke up with me for being "a psycho stalker." She lives across the street from him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42889) - you deserved it (4857)
On 04/22/2013 at 1:06am - love - by And you think I'M crazy? (woman) - United States
Today, I was trying sell a customer a top-of-the-line surround sound system. Apparently he was aware that I work on commission, as he threatened to buy the system elsewhere unless I sang Rebecca Black's "Friday" in front of the whole store. Goodbye, self-respect. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37647) - you deserved it (4429)
On 04/21/2013 at 12:03pm - money - by a little less poor at least (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, while my boyfriend was in the kitchen, he got three text messages, all of which were from "Babe 2", "Babe 3", and "Babe 4". FML
I agree, your life sucks (49340) - you deserved it (5948)
On 04/20/2013 at 8:02am - love - by How strange - United States
Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41343) - you deserved it (4555)
On 04/19/2013 at 7:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)
Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48379) - you deserved it (5783)
On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)
Today, it has been over 3 months since my housemates ended their 1 month long relationship. He's still creepily obsessed with her. He picked the bathroom lock when I was in the shower and tried to get in, and then called me a "fucking c*nt" when he realised it was me in there, not her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46368) - you deserved it (3464)
On 04/19/2013 at 7:44am - misc - by pleasekillme (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38644) - you deserved it (4523)
On 04/18/2013 at 3:30pm - misc - by phonesmuggler (man) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
