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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
50 favourites
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It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I learned my 40 year old father is marrying a girl barely a year and a half older than me. She told me not to be afraid to call her mom. I was torn between punching her in the face and vomiting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58152) - you deserved it (2087)
On 06/27/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by OfCourse (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68917) - you deserved it (16883)
On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was babysitting a little boy. I opened up a new bottle of bubbles and it was all goopy and gross so I said "Eww!". The boy then asks, "What's "ew" mean?". I replied with, "Something gross and yucky". Then he pointed at my face and say "Ew! Ew! Ewwww!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (44214) - you deserved it (6273)
On 06/06/2009 at 12:23pm - kids - by EwFace (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, it was my high school graduation. I brought my camera to capture these last memories, only to discover that the batteries were dead. When I got home and went to change them, I realized they were not dead, they were just put in the wrong way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10402) - you deserved it (39035)
On 06/03/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by keifer13 (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44051) - you deserved it (14011)
On 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by untitledentity (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I was scolding my 8 year old son because he was getting bad grades in school. I told him that he should get straight A's like his friend Ceejay. He told me that comparing him to Ceejay was unfair and when I asked why he said, "Because his dad is actually smart." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14019) - you deserved it (53957)
On 05/21/2009 at 12:35am - kids - by tomandjerry (man) - United States (California)
Today, while going for a run in my neighbourhood I was hit by a car not once, but twice. The second car, closely following the first, stopped and then drove forward to see if I was all right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39943) - you deserved it (1970)
On 05/19/2009 at 1:17am - health - by OUCH (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I ordered a graduation cake from a woman at the grocery store. She asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I said "Congratulations Annie". Then she asked me who was ordering and I said "Annie". I had to order my own cake. The woman was silent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41267) - you deserved it (4724)
On 05/14/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by Annebelle (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13593) - you deserved it (84637)
On 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (96864) - you deserved it (8076)
On 05/14/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Flicker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I woke up after a night of partying and went to the bathroom. That’s when I realized that after passing out with my shoes on last night, my friends decided use a black sharpie and play “connect the dots” with my acne. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34360) - you deserved it (14431)
On 05/13/2009 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while and realized that I can lift way more with my left hand than with my right even though I am right handed. I also realized that I jack off with my left hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8701) - you deserved it (48940)
On 05/12/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50717) - you deserved it (7484)
On 05/08/2009 at 5:46pm - misc - by man (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was walking on the track when this really cute guy shows up. I was hot and sweaty, and wanted to impress him by pouring water on myself. Instead of being turned on, all he saw was me wiping my face on my shirt screaming. It wasn't water, I forgot I had brought Sprite. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7942) - you deserved it (73610)
On 05/06/2009 at 7:36am - love - by gymbob (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I had a going-away party because I am leaving the country forever. Out of the 130 people invited, 60 were a resounding "Yes! of course I will go!". After paying $300 for everything needed at the party, 2 ended up coming. And left because nobody else was there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72681) - you deserved it (516)
On 04/25/2009 at 7:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil (Parana)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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