Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

FD3S

Search for a member

FD3S
  • Town/Country : Claremont, California
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 5 August 1995 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 1258
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

FD3S's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of FD3S's badges

FD3S's favorite FMLs

Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML

#8433331
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19484) - you deserved it (2243)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:32am - misc - by GeneralElement (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I had an interview for a college. The college is in Rhode Island. I live on the West coast. When I asked the interviewer if they got to the mainland by boat or by some other form of transportation, he told me Rhode Island is not an island. FML

#8324479
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3126) - you deserved it (42293)

On 02/16/2010 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30076) - you deserved it (2503)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I was at one of the urinals in a bathroom. A chubby kid goes to the urinal next to mine and starts peeing violently. Apparently, he was peeing so violently that it splashed onto my legs the whole time. I've picked the wrong day to wear shorts. FML

#8038027
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19399) - you deserved it (1978)

On 02/09/2010 at 12:27am - misc - by wurtabang - United States (Virginia)

Today, I laughed so hard my milk went out my nose in front of the boy I liked. Then, since I was laughing so hard about that, I accidentally farted. FML

#7901856
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27318) - you deserved it (6034)

On 02/05/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by hisgirl4life (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was rushed to the hospital because I was crying so hard I couldn't breathe. Why was I crying? My favorite anime character died. FML

#7711889
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12376) - you deserved it (60217)

On 01/30/2010 at 3:54pm - misc - by Obsessed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I opened the cabinet to take a pill for my headache. After taking the pill, I turned around and smashed my head on the open cabinet door. FML

#7475893
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18359) - you deserved it (5308)

On 01/21/2010 at 3:20pm - health - by imalwaystired - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

#7379683
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27918) - you deserved it (2493)

On 01/16/2010 at 3:19pm - health - by dire-rear (woman) - Singapore

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML

#6842444
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33680) - you deserved it (2416)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

#6761205
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13539) - you deserved it (20487)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Proof-Reader (man) - United States (California)

Today, I have to train people overseas to do my job. If I succeed in teaching them what they need to know, then they get my job and I get fired. If they don't perform well, then as the trainer I get blamed, and get fired. FML

#6761187
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27717) - you deserved it (1331)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:30am - work - by ritualdevice - Sent from mobile version

Today, I fell asleep on the train and accidentally wound up resting my head on a strange man's shoulder. When I woke up, I discovered that not only did he not object, but he decided to return the favor by resting his hand on my thigh. I was wearing a skirt. FML

#6676625
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7091) - you deserved it (9201)

On 12/09/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Violated (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went hiking with my friend. We both had to pee really bad. We went to the edge of a cliff to "relieve ourselves". He peed and it came and hit me in the face, he did it on purpose. So, I decided to get him back and peed at him. The wind changed direction and hit me in the face again. FML

#6517380
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10961) - you deserved it (29578)

On 11/29/2009 at 5:53pm - misc - by Harry (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend on her request because she "didn't have the heart to do it." Within twenty minutes I'd received 4 calls from mutual friends, including my best friend, telling me what a jerk I am. And one from my mom. FML

#6433183
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19609) - you deserved it (3503)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:11am - love - by Face_loser (man) - United States (California)

Today, I wore my cool new shirt with an oriental character on it to class. The Chinese TA burst into laughter and told me the shirt read, "I am a sad, pathetic person." FML

#6301645
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8262) - you deserved it (28005)

On 11/14/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Molly (woman) - United States (Missouri)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Break that FML
  • Hello everybody! It's great to be back to present you with a new artist. Well, two artists actually. We don't often publish artists that work as a team, and today is all the more interesting because we're…

Wednesday 15 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: