Eyeliner

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Eyeliner

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3529
  • Number of comments : 212
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Eyeliner : I love commercials that go like " I was 250 pounds, and now I'm 120 thanks to this pill! why jog the block everyday, when I can waste my money on a pill that does not work ;D! If you act now we will throw in an extra pill, all this for 200.99 ! It's an awesome deal.

Eyeliner's page activity

Visits<b>ILAB56</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 8:46am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 10:53pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 7:12pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 7:52pm<b>nonononononono</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 4:10pm<b>iprene</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 5:43am<b>heroqucas</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 5:26am<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 5:12pm<b>DragonDude</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 1:24am<b>Jester5009</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 6:03pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 2:16am<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 5:56pm<b>Emmaisobel</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 5:58am<b>lillord55</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 7:25am<b>tro444</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 10:16am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 9:14am<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 6:20pm<b>sporkster</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 9:18am

Eyeliner's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Eyeliner's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML

by cj123 / 12/23/2011 at 3:43am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using Lady GaGa lyrics. FML

by whatheffers / 07/07/2010 at 12:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

by GuitarChick42 / 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML

by happybirthday / 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML

by jilted / 03/21/2009 at 3:15am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

by gentileman / 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I was rejected from the University of Washington. My dad has been a professor there for 30 years, and is on the board of admissions. FML

by Noname / 03/16/2009 at 12:05am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

by thankskimi / 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

by sucks / 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancée broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML

by loser / 02/28/2009 at 7:22pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love