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Eyeliner

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Eyeliner
  • Town/Country : Hialeah, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3087
  • Number of comments : 212
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Eyeliner : I love commercials that go like " I was 250 pounds, and now I'm 120 thanks to this pill! why jog the block everyday, when I can waste my money on a pill that does not work ;D! If you act now we will throw in an extra pill, all this for 200.99 ! It's an awesome deal.

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Eyeliner's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Eyeliner's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML

#18586470
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22680) - you deserved it (4540)

On 12/23/2011 at 3:43am - misc - by cj123 - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using Lady GaGa lyrics. FML

#11723060
385 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57352) - you deserved it (7989)

On 07/07/2010 at 12:40pm - love - by whatheffers (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
907 comments

I agree, your life sucks (329025) - you deserved it (35701)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

#800425
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (267615) - you deserved it (17485)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML

#771915
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (224163) - you deserved it (23069)

On 04/02/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML

#580113
485 comments

I agree, your life sucks (561636) - you deserved it (35266)

On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was rejected from the University of Washington. My dad has been a professor there for 30 years, and is on the board of admissions. FML

#366764
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (368553) - you deserved it (70007)

On 03/16/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

#341783
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (468164) - you deserved it (23771)

On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

#283028
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (240618) - you deserved it (36565)

On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States

Today, my fiancée broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML

#163689
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (312495) - you deserved it (23428)

On 02/28/2009 at 7:22pm - love - by loser (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1095350) - you deserved it (108820)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)



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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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