Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Exitus99

Search for a member

Exitus99

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 October 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 963
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Exitus99 : Loves Music, Girls and Gaming :D

Exitus99's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:15pm<b>kennedie16</b> - the 01/14/2010 at 8:40pm<b>BaBiiSpAnKy821</b> - the 12/29/2009 at 12:53am<b>missbon</b> - the 12/28/2009 at 7:52am<b>lovemebabe</b> - the 08/07/2009 at 12:30pm<b>rinneiscool</b> - the 06/30/2009 at 1:30am<b>muffy_da_bear</b> - the 06/18/2009 at 9:50pm<b>effmylyfe4</b> - the 06/18/2009 at 5:18pm<b>xabuko</b> - the 06/16/2009 at 5:26am<b>Bojana</b> - the 06/15/2009 at 6:07pm<b>custer3_5</b> - the 06/15/2009 at 1:47am<b>Bes</b> - the 06/14/2009 at 3:07pm<b>boricua_4life407</b> - the 06/14/2009 at 2:31pm<b>mandyreid_</b> - the 06/14/2009 at 11:35am<b>hopiee</b> - the 06/13/2009 at 12:29pm<b>CowsSayMoo</b> - the 06/11/2009 at 3:37pm<b>volcomhunn64</b> - the 06/10/2009 at 12:19am<b>redbluegreen</b> - the 06/09/2009 at 7:10am

Exitus99's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Exitus99's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML

#2801625
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66471) - you deserved it (14786)

On 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by hdat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML

#2740699
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116005) - you deserved it (7154)

On 06/09/2009 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by quadropheniac (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

#2736001
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78373) - you deserved it (5083)

On 06/09/2009 at 4:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a date with this really cute guy. He invited me over to make dinner at his place. Eventually we end up in his bedroom to have sex. He pulls down my panties and says, "You need to shave that shit." FML

#2734034
460 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51204) - you deserved it (64475)

On 06/09/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by lagirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83810) - you deserved it (20392)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83810) - you deserved it (20392)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I woke up to my wife talking in her sleep, "No Brandon! I don't want to have sex!" My wife won't have sex with me when she's awake OR in her dreams. FML

#2697150
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72386) - you deserved it (5643)

On 06/07/2009 at 5:49pm - intimacy - by BW (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I met a hot guy at the club. We danced and had a really good time, so I invited him home with me for the night. The next morning, I awoke to the sound of what I thought to be running water. I looked up to find him, naked and pissing into my air conditioner unit. FML

#2682144
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48444) - you deserved it (23351)

On 06/07/2009 at 2:18am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: