EverWatcher

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EverWatcher

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14223
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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EverWatcher's page activity

Visits<b>Tommy214</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 9:27am<b>kaitlyn98</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 4:05pm<b>kartoffel_dude</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 4:47pm<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 8:02am<b>danielle_kaye</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 3:55am<b>bookgirl_7</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 9:24pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 2:00pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 07/31/2009 at 3:43pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 5:17pm<b>wairdt</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 2:07pm<b>chinesechicken</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 11:22am<b>ashley207</b> - the 05/26/2009 at 2:28am<b>abstratton</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 3:57pm<b>KPbIM</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 1:39pm<b>notahappygirl</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 12:28pm<b>jenandme123</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 12:14pm<b>darkwar4ever</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 11:00am<b>RobertWayne04</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 9:53am

EverWatcher's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

EverWatcher's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they blow out the candles and the girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight". The guy next to me was her dad. FML

by baller / 06/08/2009 at 6:39am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML

by honeymoondisaster / 05/23/2009 at 12:44am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

by karmasabitch / 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a massive argument with my boyfriend in which he called me stupid repeatedly. I stomped out of his house and sent a very angry text to my best friend about him. She didn't text back. Then my boyfriend texted. 'My girlfriend is so stupid she can't even text the right number.' FML

by rawkdinosawr / 05/09/2009 at 11:48am / United Kingdom (London) / Love

Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML

by schmoodles / 05/06/2009 at 8:20pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I had an ultrasound in fear of testicular cancer. I apparently signed papers allowing an intern to do it for practice. She was in her early 20s and smoking hot so as she was rubbing jelly on my testes I got an erection. FML

by erectioninfection / 05/01/2009 at 2:21pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I didn't have any money to buy a tampon from the dispenser at my school but my hands are small enough so I can just slide them up and grab one. My hand got stuck in the dispenser and my school had to call the fire department. Now everyone calls me tampon girl. FML

by obeezy / 04/30/2009 at 3:56pm / United States (Washington) / Money

Today, my coworker sent an email to the whole company asking us to fill in a survey. I've been secretly seeing her for two months, so I responded with "sure thing baby, and by the way I ran out of condoms, can you bring more for tonight?" I accidentally hit reply all. FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2009 at 12:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. "I-I-I MISS HIM!" She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was inside her. FML

by fingerfuckd / 04/29/2009 at 11:47am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I woke to find my boyfriend of 2 years gone. I saw my little sister's talking bear at the bottom of my bed, it said "squeeze me" so I squeezed it and it said "it's over." It was my boyfriends voice. I was dumped by a talking bear. FML

by shawty_x / 04/26/2009 at 8:35am / United Kingdom (Hartlepool) / Love

Today, my husband and I were talking about names for our expectant child. I told him since I named our daughter he could name our son. He's decided on a name from 'God of War'. My son is going to be named after a make-believe cartoon character - Kratos. FML

by Anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 12:43am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I had to give a speech on abstinence to a bunch of teenage boys, and surprisingly they were paying attention. After they left, I went to the bathroom and saw I had missed a few buttons on my blouse. The boys had a close up view of my cleavage for 3 hours. FML

by Anna / 04/06/2009 at 6:41am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy