Evarakeus

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Evarakeus

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 July 1999 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7005
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Evarakeus's page activity

Visits<b>larrysnowflakes</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 9:35pm<b>TheCrispyCat</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 11:17am<b>psiloveyou15</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 6:49pm<b>sunshine41196</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 9:08pm<b>datguy69s</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 11:47pm<b>xThatOneWeirdGuy</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 9:09pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 6:01pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 10:09pm<b>johnpaisley</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 5:18pm<b>amberfox9</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 9:37pm<b>meepmerp</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 12:52am<b>dirtroadboy</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 2:55am

Evarakeus's FML badges

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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Evarakeus's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm in the process of adopting a child. When I called my mom to tell her the news, she just said, "Oh honey, don't adopt, it's the worst decision you'll ever make." I'm adopted. FML

by babylove / 04/11/2014 at 5:58pm / South Africa / Kids

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

by derped-out sperm / 04/01/2014 at 5:41pm / Ireland / Kids

Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML

by jseid2 / 01/15/2014 at 12:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2014 at 12:59pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

by Z3R0G5 / 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, my daughter started speaking with hashtags. I told her to knock it off, to which she replied, "You don't get it, mom - hashtag white girl probs." Hashtag FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 1:06am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message. Every 20 minutes or so, I'll get a notification that I have a new message, and I check it just to find that same message sitting there. I'm being trolled by my own phone. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2014 at 2:49am / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML

by beemove / 12/28/2013 at 4:19pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML

by gymgirl / 12/17/2013 at 6:48pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up in my hospital bed after having knee surgery, on the wrong knee. FML

by knee pain / 12/09/2013 at 2:17pm / United States / Health

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

by OakStake / 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I dyed my hair. And my forehead. And my ears. And my arms. And my hands. FML

by MissDQ / 12/02/2013 at 8:47am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my fiancé left me waiting at the train station for two and a half hours because he offered his ex-girlfriend a lift to her friends wedding that was a few cities away. I normally wouldn't have minded, but I'm 6 months pregnant and it was pouring with rain. FML

by ali456 / 12/01/2013 at 10:16am / United Kingdom (Dudley) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

by Ashamed_Sister / 11/30/2013 at 2:35am / Namibia (Windhoek) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was visiting a family member at a women's prison. The staff wanted to search me, basically claiming that my breasts looked suspiciously disproportionate, implying I was smuggling something in. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2013 at 12:51pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous