EsOSiQueEs

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EsOSiQueEs

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 7 May 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 929
  • Number of comments : 94
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About EsOSiQueEs : Really though? This is FML. Why is there an about me box? Why do people reading FML's need to know anything about me? I guess if you have some burning question just ask though, I promise I won't give a bitchy answer.

EsOSiQueEs's page activity

Visits<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 10:58am<b>kevinivek</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 4:48am<b>chxrrycxke</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 9:45am<b>rolphadolph</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 6:03pm<b>Random4Dayz</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 11:59pm<b>_Slenderman_</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:25am<b>Heebs62</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 1:05am<b>hillbillyboy1993</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 5:40pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 8:09pm<b>lilcflem</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 5:46am<b>kittymonkey0401</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 2:25am<b>Fexican23</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 1:12am<b>reaganprep</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 1:51am<b>dom_awesome2</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 3:57pm<b>cba7</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 3:13pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 1:44pm<b>ke54hav</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 3:33am<b>sexy_taco</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 10:57am

EsOSiQueEs's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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EsOSiQueEs's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML

by thanks gramps / 04/19/2013 at 3:27am / Canada (Yukon Territory) / Miscellaneous

Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML

by Mr.no contacts / 03/31/2013 at 3:00am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was about to open a door at school, a student opened it and hit me. As I recovered and was about to open it again, someone else opened the door, hitting me again. Everyone laughed. FML

by Doors Hate Me / 03/02/2013 at 9:09am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

by Chelsea / 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, a cute girl asked if my dog was available for a date on Valentine's Day. Thinking I was in luck, I asked if I should come along. She said no. My dog has better game than I do. FML

by Doggotmytongue / 02/12/2013 at 4:50pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I watched The Passion of the Christ with my girlfriend. She kept scoffing at what she called the "historical inaccuracies", and actually tried to convince me that Hitler killed Jesus. When I corrected her, she looked at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane. FML

by and she doesn't even give bjs / 02/08/2013 at 7:44pm / Argentina (Distrito Federal) / Love

Today, my mum got a new blender. Dinner was roast beef, broccoli, cauliflower, pumpkin, potatoes and water. In a cup. FML

by I'maboutobarf / 01/31/2013 at 5:28am / Australia / Health

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

by Kitten_Love / 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm / Animals

Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML

by m / 08/04/2012 at 8:44pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous