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Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8558) - you deserved it (66088)
On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States
Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22788) - you deserved it (2663)
On 11/24/2011 at 5:35am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24382) - you deserved it (1832)
On 10/27/2011 at 11:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)
Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36107) - you deserved it (2371)
On 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by KaySchrages92 (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, while reading over my sent application email to a job I have been trying to get, I found out my brother had put "Heil Hitler!" as my signature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29963) - you deserved it (3669)
On 10/16/2011 at 3:15am - work - by Unemployed - United States (Oregon)
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28671) - you deserved it (18159)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I'd just finished feeding my parrot and sweeping all the seeds under the cage. As I was walking away, my parrot whistled. I turned around to see him get up onto the food dish, pick up a clawful of food and toss it on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19469) - you deserved it (3044)
On 10/06/2011 at 6:20am - misc - by kemando - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29993) - you deserved it (3009)
On 10/03/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Kayt (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26389) - you deserved it (2116)
On 09/20/2011 at 5:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I met an old friend from high school and his hot girlfriend. I jokingly said she must be blind to go out with him. His response: "Yeah, she is." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15556) - you deserved it (22997)
On 09/12/2011 at 3:25pm - misc - by aru9 - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I realized too late that a picture in my school Powerpoint presentation of thousands of New Zealand sheep, was actually a picture of thousands of naked men in a field. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12728) - you deserved it (27022)
On 09/10/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by FullOfNick (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I was making hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6821) - you deserved it (19573)
On 09/02/2011 at 3:48am - work - by dragos_dgt (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)
Today, my girlfriend will only speak to me using Lady Gaga lyrics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27475) - you deserved it (4623)
On 08/31/2011 at 2:31am - love - by ryanlogan - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24137) - you deserved it (2355)
On 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by mystupidson (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I broke my right leg. I've had one shot of morphine, and even that only relieved the pain a little. It's now totally worn off and I have yet to get pain medication of any kind. My leg has been broken for over nine hours now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21302) - you deserved it (2761)
On 08/27/2011 at 4:12am - health - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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