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Erin_VanDerWoods's favorite FMLs
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried to convince my daughter that the "To boldly go where no man has gone before" speech is from Star Trek, and is not an actual historical speech by the first man on the moon. She has decided to include it in her university essay on Neil Armstrong anyway. FML
by Ameel / 04/12/2012 at 2:49pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by kayadd33 / 04/10/2012 at 10:13am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
Today, while talking to my girlfriend, the subject of Darth Vader came up. That's when she asked me, "Aren't Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker the same person?" I don't know what's worse, the fact that she asked me that, or the fact that I got upset over her lack of Star Wars knowledge. FML
by Nadaz / 04/05/2012 at 7:29am / United States (North Carolina) / Geek
by Badchristian / 04/05/2012 at 12:17am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I went to McDonalds and ordered a happy meal with a girl's toy. The high school girls behind the counter said I was too old to be served one, and I had to go home and explain to my sick daughter why she didn't get her toy. FML
by Anonymous / 04/03/2012 at 1:48pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by spougeineye1 / 04/03/2012 at 12:37pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I had to sit in the hospital with my 88-year-old grandfather by myself. During the five hours I was there, he insisted on sharing the intimate details of his many sexcapades that he has had since World War II. FML
by kawood / 03/30/2012 at 7:32am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/27/2012 at 11:54am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
by Avery / 03/24/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (California) / Geek
by Anonymous / 03/22/2012 at 4:17pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML
by brooke / 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I was discussing the possibility of other life in the universe with my friend. She said the universe isn't big enough for it to be possible, and that we would know about it already, because "there are only 8 planets in the universe." FML
by daninalani / 03/11/2012 at 6:37pm / United States (California) / Transportation
by sdk2010 / 03/06/2012 at 12:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Ashleigh / 03/02/2012 at 5:53pm / Australia / Miscellaneous
- Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm… Today, in the middle of sex my boyfriend asked if he could use the bathroom. It would've been fine,… Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home…