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I agree, your life sucks (29240) - you deserved it (6967)
On 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, I started a sport journalism degree. I was the only female out of 60 students. The lecturer started talking about how we should all aspire to become sports editors of national newspapers. Later, he said women have no chance of ever becoming sports editors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18746) - you deserved it (1902)
On 07/05/2012 at 11:46am - work - by Anonymous -
Today, I got a raise at work. It will bring my hourly wage to about a cent more per hour. Our CEO just reported record-breaking profits for the year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15647) - you deserved it (1298)
On 07/04/2012 at 12:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, as I was getting ready to go to the midnight premiere of the new Spiderman movie, I was actually bitten by a spider. He gets super powers and a hot girl, I swell up like a balloon and get to spend the night in the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20634) - you deserved it (1406)
On 07/03/2012 at 4:03am - misc - by spiderfail - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my mother-in-law said I wasn't the type she expected her son to marry, as he's always dated cheerleaders and model types. I must have looked offended, so she added, "I mean they weren't smart like you." So, I might be smart but I'm the ugliest girl my husband has ever been with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17834) - you deserved it (1888)
On 07/02/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out just how easy it is to be launched against the wall and sucker-punched into oblivion by a 200-pound former Marine turned professional body-builder. I discovered this after I told my fiancée's dad that we were expecting a baby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19966) - you deserved it (3567)
On 06/29/2012 at 7:57pm - health - by fuckjuggalos (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I came home from a knee surgery. I asked my mother to get me a glass of water. She replied, "You can get it, you're not crippled. Oh wait, yeah you are" and laughed hysterically. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20682) - you deserved it (2236)
On 06/26/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by crippy - United States
Today, I was lecturing my high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of my students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4635) - you deserved it (48957)
On 06/21/2012 at 12:11am - work - by daddy'sgirl - United States (Tennessee)
Today, a police officer came to talk to the kids at my workplace. He asked what they wanted to hear about first. A group of them shouted, "The donuts, tells us about the donuts." Apparently these idiots are the future of my country. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14559) - you deserved it (3060)
On 06/19/2012 at 12:08pm - kids - by Joseph N - United States
Today, I was reading erotic literature and noticed several errors in syntax, resulting in my mood being killed. I was cockblocked by my need for grammatical correctness. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17086) - you deserved it (9080)
On 06/17/2012 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4883) - you deserved it (32391)
On 06/15/2012 at 5:43am - animals - by Anna (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5794) - you deserved it (75900)
On 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm - money - by ouch - United States (Florida)
Today, I saw Thor and I wanted to see how realistic it was to be swinging a hammer around. Wrong idea. I ended up unconscious on the ground for ten whole minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3674) - you deserved it (25167)
On 06/08/2012 at 4:09am - misc - by runner2731 - United States (Ohio)
Today, while waiting for a bus, someone started smoking at the bus shelter, which is illegal in my city. I politely asked him to stop smoking, citing the city ordinance. He just cackled and said that if I'm so concerned about the state of my health, I should start by losing 90 pounds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14441) - you deserved it (29442)
On 06/07/2012 at 1:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I walked in on my roommate trying to smoke a Mars bar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13841) - you deserved it (1486)
On 06/05/2012 at 5:03am - misc - by holyshart - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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