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Today, I realized why it's a bad idea to store your business cards and your "emergency condom" in the same handbag compartment. I realized this after a client watched me miss the cards and pull out the condom after our lunch meeting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4945) - you deserved it (19620)
On 11/02/2012 at 7:35am - work - by Hornymuch (woman) - Germany
Today, I had my 7 month check up for my pregnancy. The nurse weighed me and said, "I see you've gotten into the Halloween candy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13767) - you deserved it (2321)
On 10/28/2012 at 9:53pm - health - by monkeylover996 (woman) - United States
Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21036) - you deserved it (2393)
On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, after saving up for weeks, I bought myself an iPad. Because mine is better than the one my parents bought my ten-year-old brother, he got pissed and threw it into our pool. I'm now grounded for getting angry and calling him a bastard in the aftermath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27653) - you deserved it (1591)
On 10/11/2012 at 4:37pm - misc - by future missing person maker person thingy (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, my stepdaughter called to say hello and to give me a warning: she will do whatever it takes to keep me from having a baby with her dad, including pushing me down the stairs. I'm 12 weeks pregnant, and we were going to tell her this weekend. I'm now petrified of a 10-year-old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20997) - you deserved it (2681)
On 10/09/2012 at 6:21am - kids - by AFEmoWifey (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my mother was digging up our Halloween decorations, and found the Christmas decorations as well. She's shoddily decorated the house already in half-Halloween and half-Christmas style to save time. I guess we'll be celebrating Christmasween for the rest of the year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12291) - you deserved it (1316)
On 10/06/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Joey - United States (Nevada)
Today, at work, my boss asked me why I wasn't adhering to proper dress code. I pointed out that skinny jeans are in the dress code, to which he replied, "Only if you're skinny." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16517) - you deserved it (8429)
On 10/05/2012 at 12:40pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, as an introduction to the history of China, I asked my APA World History class to write a 500 word essay on a historical Chinese person. Out of a class of 18, five of them were about Mulan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15146) - you deserved it (3046)
On 10/05/2012 at 5:47am - work - by desperate (woman) - Malta
Today, I saw on my 17-year-old daughter's floor her "To-Do" list. What was #1? Jump in front of a moving vehicle, in hopes that Edward Cullen will use his vampire speed to save her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23122) - you deserved it (2946)
On 10/04/2012 at 10:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26503) - you deserved it (1821)
On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20242) - you deserved it (2407)
On 10/01/2012 at 11:02am - love - by fiftyno (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I spent hours crafting a tiara to look like the princess from my boyfriend's favourite game series, Zelda. I sent him a picture of me wearing it, and got the reply: "Sure, that's nice, but you'd be better as Majora." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12902) - you deserved it (2115)
Today, at school, a guy walked up to me and said I look a little too young to be at high school. I told him that I'm sixteen years old. He stared at my chest for several long seconds, muttered "What the fuck?" and walked off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19145) - you deserved it (1551)
On 09/17/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by wtf yourself, cunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I got stopped by the fuzz. The officer told me he "could care less" about my excuses. He was probably about to let me go without a ticket, but my inner Grammar Nazi kicked in and I explained why he meant to say "couldn't care less." I got the ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5725) - you deserved it (34347)
On 09/17/2012 at 12:47am - misc - by GN (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I had a date with a guy from the Internet. I'm 6ft1, which tends to put potential dates off, so I'd slyly knocked a few inches off my description. Turns out he'd done the same. He'd added a whole foot to his height. I had to crouch to talk to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13792) - you deserved it (8635)
On 09/14/2012 at 4:26am - love - by TallGal (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Monday 20 May 2013
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