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Today, I shat out a staple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31591) - you deserved it (11582)
On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)
Today, I flew home to Germany to see my wife before I'm deployed, only to find her in bed with another guy. She explained that she wants us to stay together, but she can't take a year without being intimate with someone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45725) - you deserved it (3722)
On 06/02/2011 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by jsalmons - Germany (Bayern)
Today, my fiancé informed me he didn't want a regular wedding cake, he wants a Batman cake. I have nothing against this, except that he already decided the wedding theme would be Star Wars. Essentially, I'm marrying a child. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30158) - you deserved it (16871)
On 05/30/2011 at 12:19am - love - by weddingblues (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boss called me into his office to proudly show me about an hour's worth of videos of his recent holiday. The videos were all of goats and cows eating grass outside his window in Pakistan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22073) - you deserved it (2281)
On 05/24/2011 at 3:31am - work - by goatvideosarelame (man) - Singapore
Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9054) - you deserved it (47759)
On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -
Today, I wore a Super Mario Brothers T-shirt to school that showed a picture of Mario with a mushroom above his head. I got suspended for "referencing illegal drugs". FML
I agree, your life sucks (38192) - you deserved it (4194)
On 05/11/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Sola -
Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27334) - you deserved it (12364)
On 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm - work - by Stupid (woman) - United States
Today, I confronted my husband about him being unfaithful. He said his reasons were because he's just not attracted to me anymore and my current weight repulses him. I'm six months pregnant with his child. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49834) - you deserved it (3136)
On 04/14/2011 at 2:28pm - love - by Pregnant (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I bumped into an old school friend. I'd heard she was pregnant so the first thing I did was congratulate her. Not only was she not pregnant, but the reason she managed to get so fat was because of comfort eating due to her miscarriage last month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31760) - you deserved it (5118)
On 04/13/2011 at 9:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42049) - you deserved it (3564)
On 04/10/2011 at 12:42am - love - by torny>horny - United States
Today, at 21 years old, I am still so flat chested that I can't even fit into training bras meant for 12 year olds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43269) - you deserved it (4131)
On 04/07/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by nerdsgetmehot (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I wore my cheerleading uniform to my boyfriend's house. He was a nerd in high school and mentioned a fantasy about hooking up with a cheerleader. I started acting sassy and a little mean, figuring he would enjoy a more realistic experience. Apparently not, because he started to cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20964) - you deserved it (34604)
On 04/05/2011 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by oc_cheergirl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was let go from my balloon-selling job at the zoo. They put a new monkey cage in my designated spot. I was literally fired so a monkey could take my place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29393) - you deserved it (3641)
On 03/23/2011 at 7:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61861) - you deserved it (9238)
On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)
Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36825) - you deserved it (11273)
On 07/02/2009 at 4:31am - misc - by Kristache (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 17 June 2013
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