Erin_VanDerWoods

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Erin_VanDerWoods

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 24 December 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 3605
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Erin_VanDerWoods's page activity

Visits<b>tVictoria</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 5:19am<b>Malteser95</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 4:58pm<b>InvictusTribuni</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 11:23pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 9:32pm<b>velocityraptor</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 11:21am<b>Elgaard</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 3:11am<b>Christinesayyys</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 12:42pm<b>bigguy087</b> - the 06/24/2012 at 1:13pm

Fucked!<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 3:32am

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Erin_VanDerWoods's favorite FMLs

Today, my friends staged an intervention. I'm not on drugs, I'm not an alcoholic, and I own my own house. My car is paid for and my job pays well. Apparently, I need an intervention because my life is not where they want it to be, which involves me being married with children. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 7:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my room-mates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML

by Hum / 07/02/2011 at 5:50pm / Switzerland (Ticino) / Intimacy

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML

by beekeke45 / 06/25/2011 at 9:39am / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids

Today, I was working the register at our local McDonald's. After a strange man left a massive order, he said, "Can I pay you in gummy worms?" FML

by Hank Gummyworm / 06/16/2011 at 2:37am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I went to visit my boyfriend at work. That's where I met his pregnant girlfriend. FML

by hatelife / 06/14/2011 at 2:37pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

by techiefIve / 06/14/2011 at 6:04am / United States (California) / Geek

Today, on my way home from work, I decided to bring my pregnant wife a bouquet of roses to surprise her. Her response? "Why didn't you get me something useful, like chicken wings, instead?" FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2011 at 7:23pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

by wtf / 06/09/2011 at 11:04am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Health

Today, I flew home to Germany to see my wife before I'm deployed, only to find her in bed with another guy. She explained that she wants us to stay together, but she can't take a year without being intimate with someone. FML

by jsalmons / 06/02/2011 at 1:39pm / Germany (Bayern) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé informed me he didn't want a regular wedding cake, he wants a Batman cake. I have nothing against this, except that he already decided the wedding theme would be Star Wars. Essentially, I'm marrying a child. FML

by weddingblues / 05/30/2011 at 12:19am / United States (New York) / Geek

Today, my boss called me into his office to proudly show me about an hour's worth of videos of his recent holiday. The videos were all of goats and cows eating grass outside his window in Pakistan. FML

by goatvideosarelame / 05/24/2011 at 3:31am / Singapore / Work

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

by 613tanner / 05/19/2011 at 1:30am / Transportation

Today, I wore a Super Mario Brothers T-shirt to school that showed a picture of Mario with a mushroom above his head. I got suspended for "referencing illegal drugs". FML

by Sola / 05/11/2011 at 12:10am / Geek

Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML

by Stupid / 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm / United States / Work