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Erin_VanDerWoods's FML badges
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Erin_VanDerWoods's favorite FMLs
Today, my friends staged an intervention. I'm not on drugs, I'm not an alcoholic, and I own my own house. My car is paid for and my job pays well. Apparently, I need an intervention because my life is not where they want it to be, which involves me being married with children. FML
by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 7:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my room-mates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML
by Hum / 07/02/2011 at 5:50pm / Switzerland (Ticino) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/02/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation
by beekeke45 / 06/25/2011 at 9:39am / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids
by Hank Gummyworm / 06/16/2011 at 2:37am / United States (Michigan) / Work
by hatelife / 06/14/2011 at 2:37pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML
by techiefIve / 06/14/2011 at 6:04am / United States (California) / Geek
by Anonymous / 06/09/2011 at 7:23pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by wtf / 06/09/2011 at 11:04am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Health
Today, I flew home to Germany to see my wife before I'm deployed, only to find her in bed with another guy. She explained that she wants us to stay together, but she can't take a year without being intimate with someone. FML
by jsalmons / 06/02/2011 at 1:39pm / Germany (Bayern) / Intimacy
Today, my fiancé informed me he didn't want a regular wedding cake, he wants a Batman cake. I have nothing against this, except that he already decided the wedding theme would be Star Wars. Essentially, I'm marrying a child. FML
by weddingblues / 05/30/2011 at 12:19am / United States (New York) / Geek
Today, my boss called me into his office to proudly show me about an hour's worth of videos of his recent holiday. The videos were all of goats and cows eating grass outside his window in Pakistan. FML
by goatvideosarelame / 05/24/2011 at 3:31am / Singapore / Work
by 613tanner / 05/19/2011 at 1:30am / Transportation
by Stupid / 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm / United States / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…