Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Erin_VanDerWoods

Search for a member

Erin_VanDerWoods
  • Town/Country : New York, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 24 December 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1233
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Erin_VanDerWoods's last visitors

Christinesayyysbigguy087

Erin_VanDerWoods's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of Erin_VanDerWoods's badges

Erin_VanDerWoods's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out I was adopted when my drunk dad made a terrible Star Wars joke. FML

#20893338
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37133) - you deserved it (2291)

On 09/23/2013 at 6:49pm - misc - by theynamedmeluke (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to put up with a student who stubbornly insisted that King Solomon was, in fact, a Pokémon. FML

Today, I realised that I've never been able to successfully cook a meal outside of World of Warcraft. FML

#20841839
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22515) - you deserved it (34322)

On 08/17/2013 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Thailand (Nonthaburi)

Today, I realized that I am such a Grammar Nazi that when a porn star says something grammatically-incorrect, I lose my boner. FML

#20766909
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43318) - you deserved it (16946)

On 07/06/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by BlueB (man) - United States

Today, I was telling my girlfriend about how my parents are flying out to Japan today on vacation. She was shocked at how short the flight will be, because "It's on the other side of the world." We live in the USA, and it seems I'm dating a Flat Earther. FML

#20765797
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35585) - you deserved it (6542)

On 07/05/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML

#20752893
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47752) - you deserved it (5504)

On 06/28/2013 at 5:59pm - work - by DocKreso (man) - Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska)

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

#20750993
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38633) - you deserved it (2757)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by keiran123 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my daughter believed that watching the Big Bang Theory would count as studying for her chemistry final. FML

#20733887
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39501) - you deserved it (6220)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML

#20653962
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48095) - you deserved it (5164)

On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada

Today, by pure chance, I found the website where my boyfriend has been getting all the cute, "original" romantic texts he sends me, including the one that made me fall in love with him to begin with. FML

#20651954
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40480) - you deserved it (8105)

On 05/09/2013 at 12:30pm - love - by Anonymous - Saudi Arabia (Makkah)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58177) - you deserved it (8824)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML

#20604154
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41414) - you deserved it (7481)

On 04/19/2013 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57501) - you deserved it (19403)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML

#20584680
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41288) - you deserved it (5013)

On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is". Orgasm gone. FML

#20583515
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44278) - you deserved it (7357)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by iwassoclose - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: