![[fr]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_fr_hover.gif)
![[it]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_it_hover.gif)
![[es2]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_es2_hover.gif)
![[tr]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_tr_hover.gif)
![[de]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_de_hover.gif)
![[ru]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_ru_hover.gif)
![[se]](http://cdn4.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_se_hover.gif)
This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my husband left for a two-week trip. Last night he gave the dog a treat of steak fat and gristle. My treat? I am on bed rest with my pregnancy and helpless to stop the rancid dog farts that are silent and smell like a burning septic tank exploded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26052) - you deserved it (2816)
On 07/23/2010 at 9:18am - animals - by areyouserious (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27988) - you deserved it (10895)
On 07/22/2010 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19651) - you deserved it (35891)
On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)
Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38598) - you deserved it (4139)
On 07/21/2010 at 4:31pm - love - by highlandgirl10 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34466) - you deserved it (3096)
On 07/20/2010 at 5:17pm - misc - by notmuchfun - United States (Michigan)
Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. She stole my wallet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48930) - you deserved it (2531)
On 07/19/2010 at 8:23pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States
Today, I found out what's worse than having the "sex talk" with your parents: having the "sex talk" with your boyfriend, when he's 23, right before you were supposed to have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25787) - you deserved it (3597)
On 07/19/2010 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Bellagirl (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, while I was at my boyfriend's house, I got my period. About an hour after I tell him I just got my period, he impatiently says "Is it over yet?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (30530) - you deserved it (4244)
On 07/19/2010 at 2:38am - intimacy - by MandMandM (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17525) - you deserved it (30917)
On 07/17/2010 at 2:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (317408) - you deserved it (15410)
On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (445440) - you deserved it (30116)
On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it he said "I don't know what you're talking about Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
I agree, your life sucks (753553) - you deserved it (63704)
On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML
I agree, your life sucks (381194) - you deserved it (34520)
On 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm - misc - by bittersweet - United States (New York)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (445832) - you deserved it (32691)
On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
