About EpicKid07 : Hi. I'm Alissa. [insert interesting info here]
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22872) - you deserved it (4388)
On 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by Geckosrock99 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I have a cold, and was stuck sleeping in bed. My roommate decided to wake me up by sticking headphones in my ears and playing heavy metal on full volume. This is the third time this week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14023) - you deserved it (1482)
On 08/30/2012 at 4:34pm - health - by shadowsorel - United States (Illinois)
Today, I turned on the TV just in time to see my picture on the news. I have no idea what they said about me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23180) - you deserved it (1720)
On 08/27/2012 at 2:45am - misc - by masterman - Canada (Alberta)
Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16432) - you deserved it (1215)
On 08/12/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML
I agree, your life sucks (36058) - you deserved it (1980)
On 08/12/2012 at 1:49am - intimacy - by happybirthday - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24513) - you deserved it (1457)
On 08/10/2012 at 8:45pm - health - by dumbasdogshit (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I finished my first two weeks as an ice cream truck driver. Now I can't get that annoying ice cream truck music out of my head. It's even in my dreams. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16395) - you deserved it (2723)
On 08/10/2012 at 9:58am - work - by ice cream dude - United States (Colorado)
Today, I started my dream job of being a veterinarian. My first day consisted of having to put down 12 dogs and 5 cats. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24798) - you deserved it (2914)
On 08/10/2012 at 12:37am - work - by mike h - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13945) - you deserved it (2257)
On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was driving down a dark country road with the windows down. Suddenly, a giant barn owl flew through my side-window and smacked into my head, causing me to drive into a ditch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18848) - you deserved it (1622)
On 08/08/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was bagging my groceries when I accidentally smacked myself in the face with a box of popsicles, giving myself a nose bleed. I found out that the cashier hates the sight of blood when she passed out behind the register. They called security on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16805) - you deserved it (1187)
On 08/07/2012 at 11:15pm - health - by MellyBee - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25423) - you deserved it (2134)
On 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22696) - you deserved it (1195)
On 08/06/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by Joe Lizen - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to the emergency room with chest pain. I didn't have a heart attack, but I now have a broken nose after passing out and face-planting in the waiting room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13285) - you deserved it (1166)
On 07/18/2012 at 1:06am - health - by tm - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20128) - you deserved it (2381)
On 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm - kids - by Marjorie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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