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EnterSandman

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EnterSandman
  • Town/Country : Connectishit, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2850
  • Number of comments : 216
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 109 posted

About EnterSandman : Just a dude that's had too many concussions and works 3rd shift so my brain has a rather strange thought process (when it has a thought process).

I love metal, so I give myself even more concussions head banging to the likes of Metallica, etc. I also do a bit of writing in my spare time since I take sleep aids that give me really weird dreams that could make awesome books (if I ever actually finish one and get it published, that is).

If I click on your account, don't worry. I just have the app on my iPhone and sometimes fat thumbs make it difficult to thumb comments, or your picture looked hilarious but was too small to see without clicking on. Anyways, thanks for taking the time to look at this (I think). If you happened to click this profile by mistake, don't worry. I won't hunt you down and release thousands of fire ants in your bed, I like my world drama-free.

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EnterSandman's favorite FMLs

Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML

#19189124
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29287) - you deserved it (1748)

On 02/29/2012 at 2:18pm - misc - by ouch (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, I told a customer that we don't do refunds. He responded by throwing his wallet at my face and accusing me of stealing it. FML

#19187266
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23148) - you deserved it (1982)

On 02/29/2012 at 2:47am - work - by wallets - United States

Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML

#19182040
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24380) - you deserved it (2071)

On 02/28/2012 at 1:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I picked up a warm blanket that just came out of the dryer. Despite wearing pants, the static electricity from the blanket delivered a shock straight to my crotch. FML

#19146021
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19317) - you deserved it (3512)

On 02/23/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML

#19102650
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18389) - you deserved it (4886)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

#19064063
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29547) - you deserved it (5826)

On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received a parking fine for $147. My car isn't even worth that much. FML

#19045980
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20054) - you deserved it (6586)

On 02/11/2012 at 2:03am - money - by jam - Australia

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

#19043614
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19441) - you deserved it (1824)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States

Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML

#19011410
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23688) - you deserved it (1656)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:43pm - health - by Marc - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realised how socially inept I am, when I muttered an apology to my laptop after I noticed I hadn't plugged its charger in. FML

#19001637
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18940) - you deserved it (5697)

On 02/05/2012 at 2:39pm - misc - by KDM - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up and decided that I no longer give a fuck what I look like. Today is also the day a very attractive exchange student joined my private band lessons. FML

#18943419
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17603) - you deserved it (10304)

On 01/29/2012 at 2:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out we have new neighbors in our apartment complex that park in the stall next to our truck. Turns out their car is the same make of our truck. And it also turns out that when I unlock our truck it will set off their car alarm - every time. FML

#18942006
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17290) - you deserved it (1128)

On 01/29/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by delamer (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML

#18933385
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18470) - you deserved it (3048)

On 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML

#18932795
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20710) - you deserved it (2017)

On 01/28/2012 at 10:46am - animals - by tannarox - United States (California)



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