About EnterSandman : Some rainbows have something better at the end than a pot of gold.
If I click on your account, don't worry. I just have the app on my iPhone and sometimes fat thumbs make it difficult to thumb comments, or your picture looked hilarious but was too small to see without clicking on.
Anyways, thanks for taking the time to look at this (I think). If you happened to click this profile by mistake, don't worry. I won't hunt you down and release thousands of fire ants in your bed, I like my world drama-free.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I picked up a warm blanket that just came out of the dryer. Despite wearing pants, the static electricity from the blanket delivered a shock straight to my crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16382) - you deserved it (2732)
On 02/23/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15264) - you deserved it (3817)
On 02/17/2012 at 7:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14776) - you deserved it (1484)
On 02/16/2012 at 2:52am - animals - by JukeboxValkyrie (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24844) - you deserved it (4547)
On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I received a parking fine for $147. My car isn't even worth that much. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16606) - you deserved it (5041)
Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18830) - you deserved it (1805)
On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States
Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20396) - you deserved it (1237)
On 02/06/2012 at 4:43pm - health - by Marc - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I realised how socially inept I am, when I muttered an apology to my laptop after I noticed I hadn't plugged its charger in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15081) - you deserved it (4317)
On 02/05/2012 at 2:39pm - misc - by KDM - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I woke up and decided that I no longer give a fuck what I look like. Today is also the day a very attractive exchange student joined my private band lessons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14975) - you deserved it (8008)
On 01/29/2012 at 2:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, I found out we have new neighbors in our apartment complex that park in the stall next to our truck. Turns out their car is the same make of our truck. And it also turns out that when I unlock our truck it will set off their car alarm - every time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16741) - you deserved it (1103)
On 01/29/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by delamer (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15192) - you deserved it (2282)
On 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17327) - you deserved it (1781)
On 01/28/2012 at 10:46am - animals - by tannarox - United States (California)
Today, I was apparently tired enough to spray silly string under my armpits rather than deodorant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16098) - you deserved it (4566)
On 01/26/2012 at 10:22pm - misc - by ParkerRommel (man) - United States
Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22324) - you deserved it (2857)
On 01/26/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by RequilaRainbow - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was working at Staples and organizing some notebooks. All of a sudden, I jumped up because of a sharp pain in my back. A little girl had grabbed a stapler and stapled my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30968) - you deserved it (1610)
On 01/22/2012 at 12:09am - kids - by thosedamnkids (man) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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