EnterSandman

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EnterSandman

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8128
  • Number of comments : 216
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 109 posted

About EnterSandman : Just a dude that's had too many concussions and works 3rd shift so my brain has a rather strange thought process (when it has a thought process).

I love metal, so I give myself even more concussions head banging to the likes of Metallica, etc. I also do a bit of writing in my spare time since I take sleep aids that give me really weird dreams that could make awesome books (if I ever actually finish one and get it published, that is).

If I click on your account, don't worry. I just have the app on my iPhone and sometimes fat thumbs make it difficult to thumb comments, or your picture looked hilarious but was too small to see without clicking on. Anyways, thanks for taking the time to look at this (I think). If you happened to click this profile by mistake, don't worry. I won't hunt you down and release thousands of fire ants in your bed, I like my world drama-free.

EnterSandman's page activity

Visits<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 1:30pm<b>tVictoria</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 5:17pm<b>blackeyeidiot</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 10:24pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 9:57pm<b>thatguy240</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 12:04pm<b>YourAuntsCousin</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 3:17am<b>vaderismyfriend</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 3:32pm<b>BellaP13</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:19pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 12:56pm<b>paintedwings12</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 2:58pm<b>Starfoxx</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 2:08pm<b>Budderchook</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 9:35am<b>Franniee_</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 11:39am<b>eb9821</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 10:54am<b>janey000</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 7:21pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 9:38pm<b>Mynameislinh</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 9:03pm<b>Narttu</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 10:22am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 3:57am<b>thatguy240</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 6:05pm

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EnterSandman's favorite FMLs

Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2013 at 11:13am / United States (Vermont) / Animals

Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML

by JimiHendrix / 02/28/2013 at 8:55pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Health

Today, during a sleepover at my friend's house, I woke up in the middle of the night with a dire need to pee. As I walked in the dark to the bathroom, I saw a silhouette in a doorway and instictively screamed. Turns out it was my friend's sister's One Direction cutout. FML

by Neversleepingthereagain / 02/28/2013 at 2:00pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

by Frostbitten / 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2013 at 2:57am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

by Laila / 02/20/2013 at 7:01am / United States / Kids

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 12:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

by MsCobb / 02/16/2013 at 10:27am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I discovered that my cat recently had explosive diarrhea, and couldn't make it to the litterbox in time. I discovered this when I stepped in the very, very fresh poop with my bare feet. FML

by Turdfoot / 02/12/2013 at 3:15pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I finally figured out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months. It only happens whenever I do something "sneaky". My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught. I'm a private investigator, and I apparently need a new career. FML

by screwed / 02/10/2013 at 5:41am / United States / Work

Today, my kitten made it snow inside my house using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML

by Anonymous / 02/06/2013 at 1:00pm / United States (West Virginia) / Animals

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

by DogLover / 02/06/2013 at 8:59am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, on my way to work, I hit a pothole about the size of Alabama, bending my wheel and flattening my tire. After changing it and having to explain myself to my furious boss, I went back on that road in my other car to take a picture of the pothole. While looking for it, I hit it again. FML

by Well... fuck me sideways and call me Eustace / 01/31/2013 at 6:34am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I learned it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing your phone off the balcony and sticking your cigarette into your pocket. FML

by anonymous / 01/30/2013 at 5:13am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous