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EnterSandman

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EnterSandman
  • Town/Country : Connectishit, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2864
  • Number of comments : 216
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 109 posted

About EnterSandman : Just a dude that's had too many concussions and works 3rd shift so my brain has a rather strange thought process (when it has a thought process).

I love metal, so I give myself even more concussions head banging to the likes of Metallica, etc. I also do a bit of writing in my spare time since I take sleep aids that give me really weird dreams that could make awesome books (if I ever actually finish one and get it published, that is).

If I click on your account, don't worry. I just have the app on my iPhone and sometimes fat thumbs make it difficult to thumb comments, or your picture looked hilarious but was too small to see without clicking on. Anyways, thanks for taking the time to look at this (I think). If you happened to click this profile by mistake, don't worry. I won't hunt you down and release thousands of fire ants in your bed, I like my world drama-free.

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EnterSandman's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

#7631341
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29540) - you deserved it (6108)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Crap (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46054) - you deserved it (7427)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML

#7203649
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22762) - you deserved it (3154)

On 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm - misc - by James4929 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was reading my students' Halloween stories I made them write for my creative writing class in high school. One of my students wrote about attacking me. She got my street address perfect and everything. FML

#6268890
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36569) - you deserved it (3838)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by Teaching (man) - United States (California)

Today, someone at work was bragging that their son was high school valedictorian and offered a full college scholarship. 7 years ago, I was also valedictorian and got that same scholarship. All I said was, "Congratulations. Did you want fries with that?" and continued taking their order. FML

Today, I discovered that when you're the maid of honor giving a toast at your best friend's wedding, it's important to make sure the zipper on your dress is secured. Otherwise, your bare breasts and Hello Kitty panties could end up exposed to a wedding party of 600 people. FML

#5973387
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38274) - you deserved it (7832)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by meg265 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML

#5872159
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38765) - you deserved it (2966)

On 10/17/2009 at 10:25pm - love - by userrrrr - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at the Salvation Army when I saw a wheelchair in the miscellaneous aisle. I thought it would be fun to ride around in it. As I was wheeling it back to where I found it, I made it back just as it's owner was hobbling out of the dressing room. FML

#5703197
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5177) - you deserved it (35326)

On 10/07/2009 at 1:58pm - misc - by imok (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML

#5247721
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42977) - you deserved it (3626)

On 09/14/2009 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I got my renewed driver's license. It clearly indicates 'Sex: F'. My beard and penis beg to differ. FML

#5081396
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42964) - you deserved it (3335)

On 09/06/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by HeShe (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML

#5002532
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34070) - you deserved it (2104)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by boytoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that bees like to make hives in odd places, like in your vintage car's trunk. I also found out that they don't like it when you break their hive in half when you open the trunk to get out a spare tire. FML

#4260917
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43397) - you deserved it (3559)

On 08/03/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Stung (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out if you slide down the stairs on a foam matress topper, it just folds under instead of sliding. Then you slide the rest of the way down on your knees and break your nose at the bottom. FML

#4186568
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13461) - you deserved it (62758)

On 07/31/2009 at 5:12pm - misc - by ohhmydamn (woman) - United States (Alabama)



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