About EnterSandman : Some rainbows have something better at the end than a pot of gold.
If I click on your account, don't worry. I just have the app on my iPhone and sometimes fat thumbs make it difficult to thumb comments, or your picture looked hilarious but was too small to see without clicking on.
Anyways, thanks for taking the time to look at this (I think). If you happened to click this profile by mistake, don't worry. I won't hunt you down and release thousands of fire ants in your bed, I like my world drama-free.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, a fax came in at work for a specific job, and I asked the owner of the company who it was for. He replied "the round one", so I handed it to our rotund Project Manager. Apparently the owner meant the garbage can, not my fat co-worker. Now i'm the asshole of the office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14262) - you deserved it (28484)
On 07/15/2009 at 1:24pm - work - by kjcarey123 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to my 7 year old son's school for a conference with his teacher. When I got there, the teacher said "she adored me for who and what I am". I was puzzled. Turns out my son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47067) - you deserved it (2849)
On 06/30/2009 at 12:17pm - kids - by lebanesewoman (woman) - Hong Kong
Today, while walking in the mall, I had two people race past me in wheelchairs. Thinking they were racing, I started rooting for the one guy that was ahead. Turns out his wheelchair was malfunctioning and the other was chasing after to help. He then slammed and fell into the water fountain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34280) - you deserved it (12102)
On 06/20/2009 at 10:29pm - misc - by meantowheels (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, the girl next to me slipped and went flying back against the wall. Indecisive whether to get off and help her or to just keep going, I lost my focus and footing and flew back next to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44502) - you deserved it (18631)
On 06/05/2009 at 1:03am - health - by NoPainNoGain (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to a chinese restaurant with my asian girlfriend. When she went into the bathroom I practiced saying "Can we have sex" in chinese which is where she is from. After saying it a few times out loud, a waiter walked by and stared at me. When he gave me the check he included his number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17485) - you deserved it (50183)
On 05/22/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, me and my co-workers were playing with the Helium tank we got today. We were all giggling like little girls for the better half of 15 minutes. I don't know what is more sad, that a bunch of guys were sucking helium instead of working, or that the youngest guy in the group is 43. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36396) - you deserved it (10075)
On 05/20/2009 at 11:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97038) - you deserved it (8079)
On 05/14/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Flicker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (343812) - you deserved it (40832)
On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was walking in the park when I saw an attractive girl walking nearby. I approached her to strike up a conversation when suddenly a large fly invaded my left nostril, and became lodged inside. After picking out the bloody fly pieces, I looked up to see the girl walking away, gagging. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44342) - you deserved it (3871)
On 05/08/2009 at 9:07pm - animals - by jamblasticus (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was driving to the grocery store with my 7 year-old son. When I was approaching a stop sign, I look next to me and see a guy with a triangle shaped head. I tell my son "Look at the guy with the triangle head." My window was open. So was his. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6212) - you deserved it (50662)
On 05/03/2009 at 9:44am - misc - by mylifesucks123 (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my 6 year old granddaughter was sitting on my lap playing with the rings on my fingers. After a moment, she pointed to a gold ring with many jewels and said, "When you die can I have that one?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (50544) - you deserved it (2801)
On 05/03/2009 at 12:16am - kids - by itswhateverr (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I started fixing my hair and unbuttoning a couple of buttons on my shirt, hoping the policeman would let me off with a warning. When he got to the car, he rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath. I saw him walk back to the cop car gagging. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8932) - you deserved it (58983)
On 04/25/2009 at 9:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21173) - you deserved it (48372)
On 04/08/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by nothing (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21173) - you deserved it (48372)
On 04/08/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by nothing (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72208) - you deserved it (13920)
On 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by badmom (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Friday 24 May 2013
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