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EnterSandman

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EnterSandman

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4223
  • Number of comments : 216
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 109 posted

About EnterSandman : Just a dude that's had too many concussions and works 3rd shift so my brain has a rather strange thought process (when it has a thought process).

I love metal, so I give myself even more concussions head banging to the likes of Metallica, etc. I also do a bit of writing in my spare time since I take sleep aids that give me really weird dreams that could make awesome books (if I ever actually finish one and get it published, that is).

If I click on your account, don't worry. I just have the app on my iPhone and sometimes fat thumbs make it difficult to thumb comments, or your picture looked hilarious but was too small to see without clicking on. Anyways, thanks for taking the time to look at this (I think). If you happened to click this profile by mistake, don't worry. I won't hunt you down and release thousands of fire ants in your bed, I like my world drama-free.

EnterSandman's page activity

Visits<b>YourAuntsCousin</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 3:17am<b>vaderismyfriend</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 3:32pm<b>BellaP13</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:19pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 12:56pm<b>paintedwings12</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 2:58pm<b>Starfoxx</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 2:08pm<b>Budderchook</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 9:35am<b>Franniee_</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 11:39am<b>eb9821</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 10:54am<b>janey000</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 7:21pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 9:38pm<b>Mynameislinh</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 9:03pm<b>Narttu</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 10:22am<b>lalalexie88</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 12:41am<b>umakemesic</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 2:47pm<b>chodenugget</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 12:01pm<b>EllaJSwiftie</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 8:28am<b>ged</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 7:46pm

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EnterSandman's favorite FMLs

Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML

Today, I was let go from my balloon-selling job at the zoo. They put a new monkey cage in my designated spot. I was literally fired so a monkey could take my place. FML

#15445630
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34526) - you deserved it (4596)

On 03/23/2011 at 7:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was driving home at night, and got into an accident. Someone had left a toilet in the middle of the road. I hit it. The toilet's fine, but my car now has a toilet-shaped dent in the front. FML

#15431465
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32138) - you deserved it (5889)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:10pm - misc - by jballer - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML

#14610612
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43950) - you deserved it (2996) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my mom duly informed me I'm the reason people have middle fingers. FML

#14413679
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25474) - you deserved it (5735)

On 12/31/2010 at 8:16pm - misc - by edulover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving my family home, when my 7 year old son had to pee. Having long since passed any rest stops, I made him use a bottle. Once he was done, he grenaded the bottle out the window, hitting someone's windshield dead on. FML

#14186917
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10435) - you deserved it (30454)

On 12/13/2010 at 2:35am - misc - by wtfson -

Today, my chemistry professor made us all leave our classroom mid-lab because the class was complaining of the smell, and he was worried that there was a gas leak from one of the Bunsen burners. There wasn't, but it's nice to know my "silent but deadly" smelled like it might actually kill. FML

#13169331
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10013) - you deserved it (33007)

On 09/23/2010 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

#13157318
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44367) - you deserved it (9764)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

#12858268
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28865) - you deserved it (3932)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML

#12626936
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9342) - you deserved it (76675)

On 08/19/2010 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by captainocd - United States (Texas)

Today, I shaved off the beard I had been forced to grow over the past 3 weeks due to forgetting my razor when away. 15 Minutes in, with half my beard gone, I realised I had got a tan everywhere but my beard. I now have a large white patch on my face. FML

#12601723
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27186) - you deserved it (11677)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:01am - misc - by Herbiee (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for for his birthday in a couple of days. He replied "to be single" and walked out of the room. FML

#12449914
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38615) - you deserved it (3973)

On 08/11/2010 at 6:40am - love - by gutsforme (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I decided to call the number a cute guy had scribbled onto a napkin and given to me. I was greeted by, "Hello, this is Dr. Allen's office." Surprised, because I didn't remember his name being anything close to Allen, I asked who Dr. Allen was. She's a psychologist. FML

#12371102
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26598) - you deserved it (5128)

On 08/07/2010 at 1:10pm - misc - by TRalalla (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my kids surprised me when I got home. One of them played the Rocky theme song on the stereo, and the other came up to me and said, "Daddy, let's go. We need you to drop about 15 pounds before you appear in front of all of our friends at our play." FML

#11980877
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28347) - you deserved it (7341)

On 07/19/2010 at 9:59am - kids - by Cody (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I fell down the stairs carrying a huge TV. Don't worry, my body cushioned the TV's fall. FML

#10774629
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28372) - you deserved it (4336)

On 05/26/2010 at 10:21am - misc - by hatestomove - United States (Texas)



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